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Convenience foods will become prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Convenience foods will become prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. with this opinion? v. 1
It is true that convenience foods like instant noodles and canned tuna has become more and more popular and is now a great choice for busy people. However, despite their advantages, I do not think that they will one day replace the positions of traditional foods in every family’s fridges, as well as the natural methods to prepare them. On the one hand, I cannot deny the great advantages of convenience foods. Firstly, they need no or very little preparation, which is perfect for everyone who does not have much time to cook a big meal at home. By simply walking to a nearby grocery store and grabbing a bag of instant noodle, a pack of sausage and some types of vegetable, within 5 minutes, we can have a delicious dinner. Secondly, convenience foods sold in stores are usually cheaper compared to traditional foods. This may be because prepared foods are produced in bulk by mainly machines in factories, which is both time and cost effective, while fresh produce needs a great amount of labor and care from farmers and usually cannot be harvested at such a large amount. As a result, the total amount of money spent on a meal of convenience foods may be less expensive than that of traditional foods. On the other hand, I think traditional foods are irreplaceable. The main reason for that lies in its longtime presence on dining tables. Generations of families are so used to eating and cooking natural foods at home that it becomes an integral part of their lives. Therefore, they are not likely to be taken place of by convenience foods, which were only available on the market a few decades ago. The other reason is that it is widely known that traditional foods are much more nutritious and healthy than convenience foods. Vegetables and meat or fish in the market can only stay fresh with a day, while the average shelf life of a canned beef can be up to one year. After such a long period, I doubt that the content of nutrients like protein, vitamins, etc. can still remain the same as stated on the label which was stuck to the can at the time the food was packed. In addition, the artificial preservatives that are added to the food are believed to be harmful to human health. In conclusion, although the increasing prevalence of convenience foods, they cannot totally replace traditional foods because of many concerns about their questioned nutrient content and the negative effect of preservatives on human health.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like instant noodles and canned tuna has become more and more popular and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a great choice for busy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, despite their advantages, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they will one day replace the positions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in every family’s fridges,
as well
as the natural methods to prepare them.

On the one hand, I cannot deny the great advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Firstly
, they need
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
preparation, which is perfect for everyone who does not have much time to cook a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
meal at home. By
simply
walking to a nearby grocery store and grabbing a bag of instant noodle, a pack of sausage and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of vegetable, within 5 minutes, we can have a delicious dinner.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
sold in stores are
usually
cheaper compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. This may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are produced
in bulk by
mainly
machines in factories, which is both time and cost effective, while fresh produce needs a great amount of labor and care from farmers and
usually
cannot
be harvested
at such a large amount.
As a result
, the total amount of money spent on a meal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
may be less expensive than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
foods.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are irreplaceable. The main reason for that lies in its longtime presence on dining tables. Generations of families are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eating and cooking natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
at home that it becomes an integral part of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
, they are not likely to
be taken
place of by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available on the market a few decades ago. The other reason is that it is
widely
known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are much more nutritious and healthy than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Vegetables and meat or fish in the market can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stay fresh with a day, while the average shelf life of a canned beef can be up to one year. After such a long period, I doubt that the content of nutrients like protein, vitamins, etc. can
still
remain the same as stated on the label which
was stuck
to the can at the time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was packed
.
In addition
, the artificial preservatives that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are believed
to be harmful to human health.

In conclusion
, although the increasing prevalence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, they cannot
totally
replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerns about their questioned nutrient content and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of preservatives on human health.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Convenience foods will become prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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