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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 7
People have different attitudes with regard to the question of what the best way is to watch movies. While some, including me, believe that with the emerging of smart phones and tablets, it is not necessary to go to the cinema for watching films, others claim that because cinemas provide audience with an enjoyable and exciting atmosphere, they have to go there. It is undeniable that a group of people would prefer to watch their favorite films through either mobile phones or tablets rather than to go to the cinema since it gives them the chance of offering a comfortable and convenient environment. The people who stay at homes and watch films via their electronic devices are able to take advantage of enjoying their desirable movies in the comfort of their homes, as well as they can find it easy to concentrate on films due to lack of any background noises or disturbances occurring in the area of cinemas usually. What is more, if people have the intention of watching films by their phones or tablets, not only can it play a vital role in saving a great deal of their precious time, but it may also be considered as a money-saving implication. In other words, those going to the cinemas may encounter several difficulties, including getting stuck in traffic jams, waiting in long queues, and even buying exorbitant tickets, making watching films uncomfortable to them. Despite this, some would argue that if individuals attend a cinema to watch films, they will receive more pleasure and have much more fun. They believe that watching films along with others and in a crowd gives the participants an opportunity to be aware of others’ reactions or comments regarding some parts of the films, resulting in getting more joy. In addition to this, the sound and the picture quality of cinemas are not comparable with phones and tablets, which means if people are looking forward to watching films under high standards and are capable of gaining all of the sound and motion effect of films, they are better to watch them in cinemas. In conclusion, it seems to me that this statement whether people should go to the cinema or use their phones and tablets to watch films depends on people’s preference, so it is quite hard to recommend all individuals to implement only one of those ways. I, however, prefer to stay at home and watch films through my phone because of its convenience and also due to some cinemas are dirty and are not equipped with state-of-the-art facilities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitudes with regard to the question of what the best way is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
movies. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, including me, believe that with the emerging of smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets, it is not necessary to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
for watching films, others claim that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
provide audience with an enjoyable and exciting atmosphere, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go there.

It is undeniable that a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
their favorite films through either mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or tablets
rather
than to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
since it gives them the chance of offering a comfortable and convenient environment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who stay at homes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films via their electronic devices are able to take advantage of enjoying their desirable movies in the comfort of their homes,
as well
as they can find it easy to concentrate on films due to lack of any background noises or disturbances occurring in the area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
usually
.
What is more
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the intention of watching films by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or tablets, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can it play a vital role in saving a great deal of their precious time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may
also
be considered
as a money-saving implication. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, those going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
may encounter several difficulties, including getting stuck in traffic jams, waiting in long queues, and even buying exorbitant tickets, making watching films uncomfortable to them.

Despite this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would argue that if individuals attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films, they will receive more pleasure and have much more fun. They believe that watching films along with others and in a crowd gives the participants an opportunity to be aware of others’ reactions or comments regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the films, resulting in getting more joy.
In addition
to this, the sound and the picture quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
are not comparable with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets, which means if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are looking forward to watching films under high standards and are capable of gaining
Consider using "all the".
all of the
sound and motion effect of films, they are better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
them in cinemas.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that this statement whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
preference,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to recommend all individuals to implement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one of those ways. I,
however
, prefer to stay at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films through my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its convenience and
also
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
are dirty and are not equipped with state-of-the-art facilities.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
427 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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