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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: “It is more important for students to study art and literature than it is to study math and science. ” v.1

: “It is more important for students to study art and literature than it is to study math and science. ” v. 1
Curriculum is a policy statement about a piece of education, in which that policy is to be realized through a program of action. Subjects that are taught in schools are various but some have the advantage of importance compared to others. In my way of thinking, I disagree with the statement; I think it is more important for students to study math and science. I have two reasons to explain my way of thinking, which I will explore in the following paragraphs. First, Due to the extra fast development of Technology, math and science play the biggest role in understanding the massive spread of it. Math and science are the only way to get to know literally every single thing on this planet from your cell phone to the huge antennas. For example, once my laptop battery stopped working, so I have fixed it by applying what we have learned on our science lap, in addition to some kind of equations that we have taken in math classes. Second, Earth and human health only depend on math and science in the first stage. The whole world system needs people who have a good knowledge about these two majors. For instance, math and science were used to solve many problems that help the human being to stay alive on Earth, such as working on finding a cure for the COVID 19 that could never happen without math and science. Furthermore, while I was working with Qatra, my team, on our new initiative, one of the members passed out and his heart stopped working. We needed to use the CPR method, I knew how doing this because of the lessons we have taken in biology classes.
Curriculum is a policy statement about a piece of education, in which that policy is to
be realized
through a program of action. Subjects that
are taught
in schools are various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have the advantage of importance compared to others. In my way of thinking, I disagree with the statement; I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for students to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. I have two reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my way of thinking, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.

First
, Due to the extra
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
development of Technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
play the biggest role in understanding the massive spread of it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Math
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know
literally
every single thing on this planet from your cell phone to the huge antennas.
For example
, once my laptop battery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
it by applying what we have learned on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
lap,
in addition
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of equations that we have taken in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
classes.

Second, Earth and human health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in the
first
stage. The whole world system needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge about these two majors.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the human being to stay alive on Earth, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on finding a cure for the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID 19
that could never happen without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
Furthermore
, while I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Qatra
, my team, on our new initiative, one of the members passed out and his heart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. We needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the CPR method, I knew how doing this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lessons we have taken in biology classes.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay : “It is more important for students to study art and literature than it is to study math and science. ” v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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