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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 3
It is sometimes argued that people nowadays are able to watch films and movies using their mobiles or tablets and there is no reason to go to a cinema; however, others believe that to get the full enjoyment you have to see it in a cinema. In my opinion, watching films and movies at home using my tablet or the laptop is more fun than going to a cinema. On the one hand, some people think that watching films on their mobiles or tablets is better than going to a cinema and I agree with them. In other words watching films on tablets is more comfortable because we can decide how we should sit or what we should wear while watching it. For example, some people prefer to watch films while they relax on their beds. Furthermore, watching on your phone eating what you like is cheaper than going to a cinema and buying drinks and snacks from there. For instance, in order to go to a cinema we have to take a taxi and buy a ticket. On the other hand, it is often believed that watching films in a cinema give you the full enjoyment because cinemas are fully equipped with high technology machines and sound systems which can make the people more engaged and connected to the movie. Another reason why people like to see movies in the cinema is to avoid the interruption that may occur if they were watching it on their phone or tablet. For example some cinemas put a special equipment to jam the mobile networks so once you entered the hall you cannot receive a call. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, in my opinion, watching films using phones or tablets can be more joyful and interesting than going to the cinemas.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
using their mobiles or tablets and there is no reason to go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
;
however
, others believe that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the full enjoyment you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
. In my opinion, watching films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at home using my tablet or the laptop is more fun than going to a cinema.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that watching films on their mobiles or tablets is better than going to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.
In other words
watching films on tablets is more comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can decide how we should sit or what we should wear while watching it.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films while they relax on their beds.
Furthermore
, watching on your phone eating what you like is cheaper than going to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and buying drinks and snacks from there.
For instance
, in order to go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take a taxi and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a ticket.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that watching films in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
give you the full enjoyment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
are
fully
equipped with high technology machines and sound systems which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more engaged and connected to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is to avoid the interruption that may occur if they were watching it on their phone or tablet.
For example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
put a special equipment to jam the mobile networks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
once you entered the hall you cannot receive a call.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, in my opinion, watching films using phones or tablets can be more joyful and interesting than going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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