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It is seen that older adults are not given enough respect and facilities in many countries. What could be reason for this? What are the effects of this? v.1

It is seen that older adults are not given enough respect and facilities in many countries. What could be reason for this? What are the effects of this? v. 1
Nowadays, many senior citizens are losing their respect and do not get any facilities that given by their loved ones. This is because over confidence of youth and lack of morality. There are numerous effects may be occurred which discuss further. To commence with, two prime major reasons for not giving any reverence and facilities to geriatrics. Firstly, in modern era, many young adults feel over confidence and believe that they are redundant. Moreover, older people are useless, cannot assist and help them in modern world because owing of ancestor thinking ability. As a consequence, many youngsters tend to ignore them in terms of respect and providing facilities. Secondly, there is a lack of Morality. In other words, academic professions and Parents, Who did not think to teach their child about any respectful behavior like, Give respect and get respect. Therefore, Children do not learn how to give reverence and help to their elders. The possible effects of having this kind of problems include psychological problem and unawareness of culture. Formerly, Geriatrics people always have emphatic nature and could not suppress any mental stress. Hence, if they feel any disrespectful and insult by any, it will affect to their mental health and develop psychological diseases such as, depression, hyper epilepsy and so on. For example, WHO published data about geriatrics affected diseases, In India 70% older people are suffering with nerve related diseases because living isolate with their family. Latterly, it will also affect on nation culture. This means, older people always have affection about their own culture and wanted to teach their little ones but owing of modern era, youngster overlook their own culture and may be disrespect their culture. In conclusion, it is evident that older people are not honor and facilitated by many people around the globe. Self assured and deprived from rightness are the reasons for this phenomenon. However, Loosing nation culture and mental health issues are major consequences for this.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
senior citizens are losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any facilities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
over confidence of youth and lack of morality. There are numerous effects may
be occurred
which discuss
further
.

To commence with, two prime major reasons for not giving any reverence and facilities to geriatrics.
Firstly
, in modern era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young adults feel over confidence and believe that they are redundant.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are useless, cannot assist and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in modern world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
owing of ancestor thinking ability. As a consequence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
and providing facilities.
Secondly
, there is a lack of Morality.
In other words
, academic professions and Parents, Who did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to teach their child about any respectful behavior like, Give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
.
Therefore
, Children do not learn how to give reverence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to their elders.

The possible effects of having this kind of problems include psychological problem and unawareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Formerly
, Geriatrics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always have emphatic nature and could not suppress any mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Hence
, if they feel any disrespectful and insult by any, it will affect to their mental health and develop psychological diseases such as, depression, hyper epilepsy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
, WHO published data about geriatrics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
diseases, In India 70%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering with nerve related diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
living isolate with their family.
Latterly
, it will
also
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. This means,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always have affection about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and wanted to teach their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
owing of modern era, youngster overlook their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and may be disrespect their culture.

In conclusion
, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not honor and facilitated by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe.
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Self assured
and
The usual collocation for "deprived" is "of" not "". Did you mean "deprived of"?
deprived from
rightness are the reasons for this phenomenon.
However
, Loosing nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and mental health issues are major consequences for this.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is seen that older adults are not given enough respect and facilities in many countries. What could be reason for this? What are the effects of this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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