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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.30

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 30
Cinemas have been considered the place of entertainment since long time, and many people still prefer them for enjoying their free time. In my view, watching movies on a personal device is much more convenient and budget friendly. On the one hand, cinema has numerous benefits for the audience. Firstly, the screen is wide and has an excellent display quality which no personal device can offer. Secondly, the relaxed ambience and the peaceful environment help improve the concentration. Moreover, the advanced technologies, including 3D and 4D can only be experienced in cinemas as they require expensive setup and spacious rooms. Finally, watching the movies outside promotes social harmony as it involves travelling in groups and most people will go for a meal together after watching a movie. On the other hand, watching films on personal devices has many advantages. In the first place, there is a lot of flexibility in watching online, as the user can select from the vast collection and there is no time schedule. Besides, there is no travelling involved, so it is more environmentally friendly means of enjoyment. Additionally, the viewer has the full control and can change the movie anytime or watch in multiple sittings, which is well suited for working people as they can enjoy during breaks. Lastly, most online platforms offers monthly subscriptions, so this way is inexpensive, especially for film lovers. In conclusion, while I believe it is not completely wrong, going to cinemas has both benefits and drawbacks in my opinion. However, I believe watching movies in the comfort of home and with great flexibility, is more beneficial for the users as well as for our environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cinemas
have
been considered
the place of entertainment since long time, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
prefer them for enjoying their free time. In my view, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on a personal device is much more convenient and budget friendly.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
has numerous benefits for the audience.
Firstly
, the screen is wide and has an excellent display quality which no personal device can offer.
Secondly
, the relaxed ambience and the peaceful environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the concentration.
Moreover
, the advanced technologies, including 3D and 4D can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be experienced
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
as they require expensive setup and spacious rooms.
Finally
, watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
outside promotes social harmony as it involves travelling in groups and most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will go for a meal together after watching a movie.

On the other hand
, watching films on personal devices has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages. In the
first
place, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
flexibility in watching online, as the user can select from the vast collection and there is no time schedule.
Besides
, there is no travelling involved,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is more
environmentally
friendly means of enjoyment.
Additionally
, the viewer has the full control and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
anytime or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
in multiple sittings, which is well suited for working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as they can enjoy during breaks.
Lastly
, most online platforms offers monthly subscriptions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this way is inexpensive,
especially
for film lovers.

In conclusion
, while I believe it is not completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
has both benefits and drawbacks in my opinion.
However
, I believe watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the comfort of home and with great flexibility, is more beneficial for the users
as well
as for our environment.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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