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Some people said that with the help of parenting and child development courses parents can improve the life of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people said that with the help of parenting and child development courses parents can improve the life of children. v. 1
Parenting courses have become a growing trend over the last two years. A number people believe that the life quality of children can be improved by parents who attend in parenting and child development courses which help them about parenting. I completely agree with the idea that parenting courses are the best way to improve both parenting skills and children’s lives. Firstly, communication is key to any relationship. Communicating with children is essential as they grow up. Parenting classes play an important role in improving relationships and the quality of communication between parents and children. These classes generally focus a lot of different communication styles with the children that is best suited for different situations. For instance, it helps maintain a healthy, positive and happy relation between parents and children. Therefore, parenting classes are important to build a strong relationship between parents and their children. Secondly, shaping personality at an early age is a necessity in favour of children. Another important point in associated with parenting classes is that they can improve children's behaviour. To illustrate, children of parents who participate in parenting education programs often demonstrate increases in their behaviours (e. g. , empathy, sharing, helping others) and decreases in negative externalizing behaviours (e. g. , aggression, delinquency, hyperactivity). Hence, these educational programs can help children to from their personality in a right way. In conclusion, many parents attend in child development classes these days. I fully agree with the view that thanks to parenting and child development education programs, parents improve effectively the life of their children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parenting
courses have become a growing trend over the last two years. A number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the life quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who attend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
and child development courses which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
courses are the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Firstly
, communication is key to any relationship. Communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is essential as they grow up.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in improving relationships and the quality of communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
generally
focus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
communication styles with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that is
best suited for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations.
For instance
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
maintain a healthy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and happy relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build a strong relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their children.

Secondly
, shaping personality at an early age is a necessity in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point in associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
is that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
education programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
demonstrate increases in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
(
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
empathy, sharing, helping others) and decreases in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
externalizing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
(
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
aggression, delinquency, hyperactivity).
Hence
, these educational programs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to from their personality
Consider replacing "in a right way" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right way
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
attend in child development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
these days. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
and child development education programs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
effectively
the life of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Some people said that with the help of parenting and child development courses parents can improve the life of children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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