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Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v.13

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 13
It is well said that organised mind depicts the organised behaviour. Some individuals believe that system is imperative in every place whether it is home or office. It can only be possible by arranging each and everything in a systemic order. I also support this view because it has numerous benefits for individuals and persons associated with them. To begin with, at workplaces, if job gadgets or documents are placed systemically on shelves or on desktop computers, then employees can find any work related details easily and will work smoothly. For instance, a survey was conducted between two organisations where one business runs in an organised way and another in unorganised form, thus, at the end of their financial period it was observed that the former company showed better financial results than the latter. As a result, planning boosts up the human efficiency, which leads to increase productivity and each person will start following the organised routine. Similarly, at residence, it is crucial to keep the things in an order because this will save a lot of time spend on organising the things repeatedly. For example, set up kitchen appliances and clothes. Valuable time can be utilised to finish other productive tasks. Hence, there is a need to plan our life to do things in advance with an easy mind. Nevertheless, some people opine that organising things do not apply to a busy person and to those who choose to live in a mess such as, working mothers and students respectively. They believe that the millennials are working around the clock and find very difficult to place everything in a correct order. So, organising homes and work stations seem an impossible task for them. Also, some people have a habit to live in an untidy environment and they do not bother about anything. To conclude, although people have less time today than they used to have and living in an unorganised manner is their nature. They have to see the positive aspects of being an organised person because it will not only help people to manage things, also, helps to improve their way of thinking which can be used for decision making and this can make their life better than ever.
It is well said that
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
mind depicts the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that system is imperative in every place whether it is home or office. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be possible by arranging each and everything in a systemic order. I
also
support this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has numerous benefits for individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
associated with them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, at workplaces, if job gadgets or documents
are placed
systemically
on shelves or on desktop computers, then employees can find any work related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
easily
and will work
smoothly
.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
between two
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
where one business runs in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organised
way and another in
Possible spelling mistake found.
unorganised
form,
thus
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of their financial period it
was observed
that the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
better financial results than the latter.
As a result
, planning boosts up the human efficiency, which leads to increase productivity and each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
following the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
routine.
Similarly
, at residence, it is crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the things in an order
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time spend on
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
the things
repeatedly
.
For example
, set up kitchen appliances and clothes. Valuable time can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to finish other productive tasks.
Hence
, there is a need to plan our life to do things in advance with an easy mind.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
things do not apply to a busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and to those who choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a mess such as, working mothers and students
respectively
. They believe that the millennials are working around the clock and find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to place everything in a correct order.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
homes and work stations seem an impossible task for them.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a habit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an untidy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment and
they do not bother about anything.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have and living
Consider replacing "in an unorganised manner" with the adverb for "unorganised"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an unorganised manner
is their nature. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of being an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to manage things,
also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their way of thinking which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life better than ever.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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