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Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages? v.2

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages? v. 2
Some employers or managers want their junior colleagues at their reach not only on working days but also on holidays. This trend brings several benefits to the people. However, it also has some drawbacks. To begin with, some professions in the world demand the employers to be able to contact their staff even on holidays. For instance, medical or nursing professionals should always be ready to attend to the emergencies that occur in order to save people’s life regardless of holidays. In this case the main advantage is they could play an important role in saving lives. Another benefit of working on holidays for the employees is that they get paid for their work or overtime. It can contribute to monthly income of the workers. Furthermore, the company also benefits economically if the employee is ready to work without bothering about the holidays. On the flip side, people find it difficult and tiring to work without adequate off days. There are several employees who do not want to receive even a single phone call from their employers when they are at home or on holiday because it makes them stressed out. Majority of the people do not want to be interrupted by their bosses because they want to get relaxed or refreshed on their holidays. Moreover, research indicates that people who work without getting enough rest often fail to concentrate on the task they are given the next day. It may affect the company’s productivity. To conclude, even though both the employers and the employees benefit from getting their work done on holidays, it can have many negative sides. This may cause increased pressure and stress on the employees. So I believe the disadvantages are more obvious than advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
or managers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
their junior colleagues at their reach not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on working days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
. This trend brings several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions in the world demand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
to be able to contact their staff even on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
.
For instance
, medical or nursing professionals should always be ready to attend to the emergencies that occur in order to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
.
In this case
the main advantage is they could play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of working on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or overtime. It can contribute to monthly income of the workers.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
economically
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without bothering about the holidays.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it difficult and tiring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without adequate off days. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to receive even a single phone call from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
when they are at home or on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out. Majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
be interrupted
by their bosses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed or refreshed on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
.
Moreover
, research indicates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fail to concentrate on the task they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
next
day. It may affect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s productivity.

To conclude
,
even though
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
from getting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
, it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides. This may cause increased pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I believe the disadvantages are more obvious than
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
advantages
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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