Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v. 104 v.45

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v. 104 v. 45
In these days, there is an increasing number of people having health issues related to junk food. Hence, some people believe that the authorities should introduce a higher tax for these kinds of food. I totally agree with this viewpoint because it will help decrease the consumers’ demand for fast food and also encourage people to cook healthy meal at home. Firstly, taxing higher on processed food will make a fall in the demand for it. Obviously, when the price of fast foods raises, the amount of consumption will go down. Take tobacco as an example, since it has been taxed higher, the enterprises had to increase the price of the product. Therefore, some people, especially working class cannot afford for this product many times like the way it was in the past, which leads to the lower consumption. From this case, it is believed that imposing a tax on detrimental food also can be successful in lowering the amount of consumption. Secondly, it will probably encourage people to cook healthy dishes and then enjoy better health. Because when the price of unhealthy food gets much higher, cooking at home turns to be a better alternative choice. For example, hamburgers, fried chickens from convenience stores have been my choice for lunch at my school because of its reasonable price. However, if the government levies a higher tax on these foods, I will consider cooking at home because it is cheaper and even more nutrient for the body. In other words, fast food is no longer suitable for me both of its quality and price so I will turn to fresher meal that is better for my health. In conclusion, I completely agree that increasing tariffs on fast-food is an effective way to protect public health. It should be received more endorsement because of helping decrease the demand for junk food and encourage people to cook at home which are more friendly to our body.
In these days, there is an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having health issues related to junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the authorities should introduce a higher tax for these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
decrease the consumers’ demand for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cook healthy meal at home.

Firstly
, taxing higher on processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fall in the demand for it.
Obviously
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
raises, the amount of consumption will go down. Take tobacco as an example, since it has
been taxed
higher, the enterprises had to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the product.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
cannot afford for this product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times like the way it was in the past, which leads to the lower consumption. From this case, it
is believed
that imposing a tax on detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
can be successful in lowering the amount of consumption.

Secondly
, it will
probably
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cook healthy dishes and then enjoy better health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
much higher, cooking at home turns to be a better alternative choice.
For example
, hamburgers, fried chickens from convenience stores have been my choice for lunch at my school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
However
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
levies a higher tax on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, I will consider cooking at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is cheaper and even more nutrient for the body.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is no longer suitable for me both of its quality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will turn to fresher meal
that is
better for my health.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that increasing tariffs on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food is an effective way to protect public health. It should
be received
more endorsement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of helping decrease the demand for junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cook at home which are more friendly to our body.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v. 104 v. 45

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts