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Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages? v.1

Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages? v. 1
It is considered by some that online communication is removing the geographical barriers, and people can interact with others, which was not possible without it. There are certain benefits and drawbacks to this trend. There are few positive aspects of global communication. To begin with, people could come to know about the culture and traditions of people residing in other countries. It is not feasible for many to travel long distance and make themselves familiar to the culture of other people; hence, interacting with others through online source such as internet give a chance to them to acquire the knowledge about other pupil’s traditions, by engaging and interacting with them. Another advantage is that international communication is much productive in terms of education. Many people in less develop countries need to attained information regarding the education system of the universities of developed nations, which can be acquired through interacting with the personals of international universities. This, in turn, means they can go for their desired university for education by this means. A recent report by the Online Education System, for instance, revealed a study that 90% students get enrolled into an international universities, by first acquiring information online from people living in the host country. There are also some downsides of this trend. Firstly, individuals communicating online can come across fake people. The world of the internet is so gigantic that it is arduous to know who is real. People can be easily indulged by others in some bad activity, which can be detrimental for their personality and character. Research from Michigan University, for example, conducted a study that out of 100, 45 people get involved in false identity relationships in the online world. Secondly, interacting to other internationally can be detrimental to the people’s own culture and traditions. They may get involved excessively in knowing about other people lifestyle, and can forget or dislike their own culture. A study from the World Social Organization, as an illustration, showed that Asian people easily adopted the Western culture and not follow much their own way of life, when they communicate to people from developed countries. In conclusion, it is true that online international communication has remove the obstacles people were facing, and enables them to interact. This trend is beneficial in terms of knowing people’s lifestyle and education; however, there are negative aspects such as meeting fake persons and abandoning own culture.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is removing the geographical barriers, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can interact with others, which was not possible without it. There are certain benefits and drawbacks to this trend.

There are few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and traditions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries. It is not feasible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to travel long distance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves familiar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interacting
with others through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
source such as internet give a chance to them to acquire the knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pupil’s traditions, by engaging and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interacting
with them. Another advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is much productive in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in less develop countries need to attained information regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
of developed nations, which can
be acquired
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interacting
with the personals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. This, in turn, means they can go for their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by this means. A recent report by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
System,
for instance
, revealed a study that 90% students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled into an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "university"?
universities
, by
first
acquiring information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the host country.

There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides of this trend.
Firstly
, individuals communicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The world of the internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
gigantic that it is arduous to know who is real.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can be
easily
indulged by others in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
activity, which can be detrimental for their personality and character. Research from Michigan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
,
for example
, conducted a study that out of 100, 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in false identity relationships in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
world.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interacting
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
internationally
can be detrimental to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and traditions. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved
excessively
in knowing about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lifestyle, and can forget or dislike their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. A study from the World Social Organization, as an illustration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
adopted the Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and not follow much their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way of life, when they communicate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has
Use past participle here: "removed".
remove
the obstacles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were facing, and enables them to interact. This trend is beneficial in terms of knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
;
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects such as meeting fake persons and abandoning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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