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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets no need to go to cinema other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets no need to go to cinema other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema v. 1
Nowadays, the role of gadgets have been dramatically increased in our daily lives. People use them for official engagements as well as for entertainment purposes. Thus, a debate going on whether to enjoy at the fullest one should watch films on these cell phones or other devices or it is rather better to visit theaters. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of both the views. Firstly, watching films at home on your personal gadgets is one of the most relaxing ways. In this way, one doesn't need to invest time to travel and to bear the unexpected traffic, which can easily ruin the mood, and any delay may become a reason to compromise on the first interval of film. For example, in the city like Karachi there is no art-of-transportation. Thus, it chokes-a-bloc unpredictably and become the cause of frustration. Furthermore, movies at theatre costs a lot. In order to plan, an outdoor entertainment one has to have thousands of rupees in the wallet. For instance, usually people do not prioritise to watch movie in cinemas alone. Thus, everything costs them double including; tickets and refreshments. However, on the other hand, some people believe that one can not be entertained fully unless he watches on big screens of cinemas. Films are not made to be watched on tiny screens. For example, sound effects and use of graphics can not be felt on smart devices. Thus, it ruins the whole efforts of directors and producers and increase the disappointments of end users. Furthermore, someone has well-said 'no pain, no gain'. Movies are a source of relaxation for many and give a chance to catch-up with friends and family. Thus, one can make the most of it by planning ahead. For example, to avoid traffic jam a late night show can be reserved, car-pooling can be opted to cut the total cost. To sum up, although people are divided and have diversified opinion. But, I undoubtedly believe that in order to enjoy a movie at the fullest, one should must go to the cinema at least occasionally.
Nowadays, the role of gadgets
Possible agreement error
have
been
dramatically
increased in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for official engagements
as well
as for entertainment purposes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, a debate going on whether to enjoy at the fullest one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films on these cell phones or other devices or it is
rather
better to visit theaters. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of both the views.

Firstly
, watching films at home on your personal gadgets is one of the most relaxing ways. In this way, one doesn't need to invest time to travel and to bear the unexpected traffic, which can
easily
ruin the mood, and any delay may become a reason to compromise on the
first
interval of film.
For example
, in the city like Karachi there is no art-of-transportation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, it chokes-a-bloc
unpredictably
and become the cause of frustration.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
costs a lot. In order to plan, an outdoor entertainment one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
have thousands of rupees in the wallet.
For instance
,
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in cinemas alone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, everything costs them double including; tickets and refreshments.

However
,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that one can not
be entertained
fully
unless he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screens of cinemas. Films are not made to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
on tiny screens.
For example
, sound effects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of graphics can not
be felt
on smart devices.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, it ruins the whole efforts of directors and producers and increase the disappointments of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
users.

Furthermore
, someone has well-said 'no pain, no gain'.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
are a source of relaxation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and give a chance to catch-up with friends and family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most of it by planning ahead.
For example
, to avoid traffic jam a late night
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
can
be reserved
, car-pooling can
be opted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the total cost.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are divided
and have diversified opinion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
undoubtedly
believe that in order to enjoy a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
at the fullest, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go to the cinema at least
occasionally
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets no need to go to cinema other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
347 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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