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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 5
A few people believe that nowadays we have the privilege to see movies in our mobile phones and tablets rather than going to theatre while others think it is mandatory to go to the cinema to enjoy films more. This essay will discuss both the arguments in detail and provide evidence as to why, watching films in the theatre is more alluring. On the one hand, people do not have enough time to go for a movie outside. In detail, we are living in an era of globalization and consequently everyone is busy with their hectic work or project. In the meanwhile, they do not have any time for enjoyment. Moreover, they have mobile or tablet in their hand and it is so convenient to watch anything. So most of the people watch television or films whilst they are travelling. For instance, almost all global leaders of cable TV launched their android app, that provides every entertainment including feature films, sports etc. Nonetheless; I believe that, this is not a valid reason to exclude theatres. On the other hand, watching films in theatre is a mesmerising experience. In other words, watching movies on a big screen is a captivating one, because, we can enjoy the full theatrical experience such as sound quality as Dolby and the resolution as 4K. We cannot watch films in the mobile with all the technical aspects. For example, nowadays, most of the films are made by 3D or 4D, that could not be seen in tablets. So I believe that, watching films in cinema is more entertaining. In conclusion, despite the convenience mobile or tablets provides, watching blockbusters in a theatre is more enchanting. So in my opinion, we should go to cinema for watching films for a more thrilling experience.
A few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that nowadays we have the privilege to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
movies in our mobile phones and tablets
rather
than going to
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is mandatory to go to the cinema to enjoy films more. This essay will discuss both the arguments in detail and provide evidence as to why, watching films in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is more alluring.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to go for a movie outside. In detail, we are living in an era of globalization and
consequently
everyone is busy with their hectic work or project. In the meanwhile, they do not have any time for enjoyment.
Moreover
, they have mobile or tablet in their hand and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
anything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television or films whilst they are travelling.
For instance
, almost all global leaders of cable TV launched their android app, that provides every entertainment including feature films, sports etc.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nonetheless
; I believe that, this is not a valid reason to exclude
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
.

On the other hand
, watching films in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is a
Possible spelling mistake. 'mesmerising' is British English.
mesmerising
experience.
In other words
, watching movies on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen is a captivating one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, we can enjoy the full theatrical experience such as sound quality as Dolby and the resolution as 4K. We cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films in the mobile with all the technical aspects.
For example
, nowadays, most of the films
are made
by 3D or 4D, that could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in tablets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I believe that, watching films in cinema is more entertaining.

In conclusion
, despite the convenience mobile or tablets provides, watching blockbusters in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is more enchanting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my opinion, we should go to cinema for watching films for a more thrilling experience.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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