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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 2
Some people contend that we do not have to visit the theater because we are able to watch movies by using our mobile phones or tablets, while others argue that we can be fully satisfied with seeing them in a cinema, not on small electronic devices such as smart-phones. I would argue that seeing movies in the theater is more beneficial than seeing them in tablets or mobile phones. On the one hand, it believed that we can watch films with electronic devices such as individual phones, and so we do not be required to go to the theater for some reasons. The first significant reason is that we can see movies wherever we are with mobile phones. For instance, while we are moving by train, bus or car, if we have our smart-phone, we can relish seeing movies. Another important reason is whenever we want to watch a specific movie. For example, when we suddenly really want to see a certain movie just now, we are able to enjoy watching it through smart-phone application for movies such as Netflix; thus, we do not need to visit a cinema. However, I believe that people can enjoy watching cinemas in theater rather than on small electronic equipment like tablets because of several reasons. One chief reason lies in the huge screen and loud sound. When we watch movies in the cinema, we sit on chair in front of the big screen and big background music enhances our pleasure of seeing movies. Additionally, the dim and spacious room in the cinema supports focusing seeing movies themselves and then enjoying them. In conclusion, it is clear that there are some very strong opinions on seeing movies through electronic equipments such as phones due to above reasons. However, personally, I believe that to see cinemas in theater let us increase our pleasure compared with seeing them on tablets because of a dark theater room and huge screen and sound.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contend that we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
by using our mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or tablets, while others argue that we can be
fully
satisfied with seeing them in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, not on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices such as smart-phones. I would argue that seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
is more beneficial than seeing them in tablets or mobile phones.

On the one hand, it believed that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices such as individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we do not
be required
to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. The
first
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
wherever we are with mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
For instance
, while we are moving by train, bus or car, if we have our smart-phone, we can relish seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is whenever we want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
.
For example
, when we
suddenly
really
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we are able to enjoy watching it through smart-phone application for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
such as Netflix;
thus
, we do not need to visit a cinema.

However
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can enjoy watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
rather
than on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
equipment like tablets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. One chief
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
lies in the huge screen and loud sound. When we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, we sit on chair in front of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
background music enhances our pleasure of seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
Additionally
, the dim and spacious room in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
supports focusing seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
themselves and then enjoying them.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong opinions on seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
equipments such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
due to above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
However
,
personally
, I believe that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us increase our pleasure compared with seeing them on tablets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a dark
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
room and huge screen and sound.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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