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Modern technology has a great impact on environment. some say that people should adopt simple life style to avoid this problem, while others argue that technology itself should provide the solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Modern technology has a great impact on environment. some say that people should adopt simple life style to avoid this problem, while others argue that technology itself should provide the solution. v. 1
In recent decades, the latest and trending technologies are having immense repercussions on the environment irrespective of the field. Few sects of people are thinking that the society should adjust by leading a simple life to get rid of this issue, while others are arguing the technology itself should give the remedies on top of its purpose. In my opinion, I strongly agree and emphasize the latter one and in this essay, I will discuss both the views along with my supportive points. Few people are having a tendency to lead a traditional and technology-free life in order to be hale and healthy. This is because many people are being affected by the enormous kind of diseases and eventually lead to death in many cases. For instance, in the year 2008, the department of radiology, India had conducted a survey and published its report saying 95 percent of people who live nearby the nuclear power reactor / mobile phone towers are affected by the life-threatening disease, skin cancer. So, it is not baseless to oppose few people who avoid modern technology and lead a simple life. On the other hand, many people are debating the technology itself should bring solutions to its impact on the environment and I agree. In this modern era, where without a state of the art technology device like mobile phones, it is almost equivalent to impossible to lead a normal life, since we have been addicted to it and living more sophisticated. For example, having a mobile phone handy will always be safe and secure for a girl/woman especially in a dangerous situation. Hence in the above lights, it is so clear to claim that we cannot avoid the use of latest technologies, rather it should confer solutions to the repercussions it provides. Conclusively, I agree and would strongly recommend to the technologists to provide harmless products to have a healthy society.
In recent decades, the latest and trending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are having immense repercussions on the environment irrespective of the field. Few sects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are thinking that the society should adjust by leading a simple life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of this issue, while others are arguing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
itself should give the remedies on top of its purpose. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and emphasize the latter one and in this essay, I will discuss both the views along with my supportive points.

Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having a tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
a traditional and technology-free life in order to be hale and healthy. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the enormous kind of diseases and
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to death in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases.
For instance
, in the year 2008, the department of radiology, India had conducted a survey and published its report saying 95 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
nearby the nuclear power reactor / mobile phone towers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the life-threatening disease, skin cancer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is not baseless to oppose few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who avoid modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
a simple life.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are debating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
itself should bring solutions to its impact on the environment and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In this modern era, where without a
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
device like mobile phones, it is almost equivalent to impossible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
a normal life, since we have
been addicted
to it and living more sophisticated.
For example
, having a mobile phone handy will always be safe and secure for a girl/woman
especially
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
in the above lights, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to claim that we cannot avoid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
,
rather
it should confer solutions to the repercussions it provides.

Conclusively
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and would
strongly
recommend to the technologists to provide harmless products to have a healthy society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Modern technology has a great impact on environment. some say that people should adopt simple life style to avoid this problem, while others argue that technology itself should provide the solution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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