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Some people claim that traditional games had more benefits for children than modern ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people claim that traditional games had more benefits for children than modern ones. v. 1
It is believed by some people that conventional games were more beneficial as compare to the games of today's time. I agree with this idea that older games had great improtnace, but I believe that modern games are more significant. There are several reasons why I think that at the present time games are very crucial. Firstly, in these days there a number of games are available for everyone, they can play those games what they want, and these games are vital to enhance the cognitive skills of children. For instance, puzzle games assist the youngsters to grow mental ability. In this way problems can be solved by them easily without any hurdle. Secondly, nowadays computer games are also available, which makes children more creative, and can increase their imagination power. When kids play such games, they may imagine stages of games in their real life, as a consequence, an effective way can be found by them to face a difficult situation. Furthermore, if children play traditional games they can be stay rooted with their culture, but children's mind growth can be stopped, that is more important in the contemporary world. Moreover, by playing video games, it can be learned how to be safe on roads. For instance, while playing bike racing games young people use their mind to become safe from accident to pass the stages of games, thus these ways can be applied by them in their lives on roads at the time of driving, this can make them safe from mishappenigs on the roads. To conclude, due to several advantages, in perspective the games of this contemporary games are very important s, so children should such games rather than older games.
It
is believed
by
some
people
that conventional
games
were more beneficial as compare to the
games
of
today
's time. I
agree
with this
idea
that older
games
had great
improtnace
,
but
I believe that modern
games
are more significant.

There are several reasons why I
think
that at the present time
games
are
very
crucial.
Firstly
, in these days there a number of
games
are available for everyone, they can play those
games
what they want, and these
games
are vital to enhance the cognitive
skills
of
children
.
For instance
, puzzle
games
assist the youngsters to grow mental ability. In this way problems can
be solved
by them
easily
without any hurdle.
Secondly
, nowadays computer
games
are
also
available, which
makes
children
more creative, and can increase their imagination power. When kids play such
games
, they may imagine stages of
games
in their real life, as a consequence, an effective way can
be found
by them to face a difficult situation.

Furthermore
, if
children
play traditional
games
they can be
stay
rooted with their culture,
but
children's mind growth can be
stopped
,
that is
more
important
in the contemporary world.
Moreover
, by playing video
games
, it can
be learned
how to be safe on roads.
For instance
, while playing bike racing
games
young
people
use
their mind to become safe from accident to pass the stages of
games
,
thus
these ways can
be applied
by them in their
lives
on roads at the time of driving, this can
make
them safe from
mishappenigs
on the roads.

To conclude
, due to several advantages, in perspective the
games
of this contemporary
games
are
very
important
s,
so
children
should such
games
rather
than older
games
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people claim that traditional games had more benefits for children than modern ones. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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