Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.3

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. 3
Films are generally considered to be art. While it is believed by some that, it is unnecessary to go to the theatre as movies can be viewed on phones and tablets, others argue that in order to enjoy movies one needs to visit the movie theatre. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the latter view Those who support the view that watching movies on devices is a substitute for viewing centers may argue that on the basis of cost effectiveness. This is because the amount of money spent watching motion pictures, as well as, on transportation could be channeled into other more productive activities such as health bills. According to a survey carried out by Universal Studios, in 2017, for example, revealed that the was a gradual decrease in the number of movie goers from 2014 to 2016, and about 40% revealed that this was due to the amount of money being spent on transportation and the movie itself. If the government would provide free public transport so that people found it easier to transport themselves this might reduce the financial burden. However, I would argue that for a movie to be enjoyed fully, it needs to be viewed in a film house because of the effects the environment has on our health. This implies that, the theatre has a lot of extra activities such as video games, which helps as a stress reliever and also with relaxation. Taking the example of a medical doctor, who after working a 48 hour shift needs to relax before going home, chooses the entertainment center because of the effect it has on the body and mind. If this centers were closed due to low attendance, the rate of stress induced illnesses would likely increase resulting in the need for cinemas. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that for one to get the full benefits of a movie, one should visit the film house because this improves the quality of life by decreasing stress.
Films are
generally
considered to be art. While it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that, it is unnecessary to go to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can
be viewed
on phones and tablets, others argue that in order to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my support for the latter
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
view


Those who support the view that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on devices is a substitute for viewing centers may argue that on the basis of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost effectiveness
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the amount of money spent watching motion pictures,
as well
as, on transportation could
be channeled
into other more productive activities such as health bills. According to a survey carried out by Universal Studios, in 2017,
for example
, revealed that
Please check whether a word is missing between 'the' and 'was' or whether 'the' is the correct determiner.
the
was a gradual decrease in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
goers from 2014 to 2016, and about 40% revealed that this was due to the amount of money
being spent
on transportation and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
itself. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would provide
free public transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
found it easier to transport themselves this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the financial burden.

However
, I would argue that for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
to
be enjoyed
fully
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be viewed
in a film
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the effects the environment has on our health.
This implies that
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
extra activities such as video games, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
reliever and
also
with relaxation. Taking the example of a medical doctor, who after working a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "48-hour"
48 hour
shift
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to relax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going home, chooses the entertainment center
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the effect it has on the body and mind. If
Did you mean "these"?
this
centers
were closed
due to low attendance, the rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
induced illnesses would likely increase resulting in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for cinemas.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that for one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the full benefits of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, one should visit the film
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of life by decreasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts