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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. 2
People prefer to traditional methods of schooling have been changed after the introduction of computers and the internet. There are some advocates argue that homeschooling has many advantages than going regular school education; however, there remain some arguments. In my opinion, I strongly, believe that homeschooling would enable children to learn more academic and non academic subjects in details. First of all, by spending a large amount of time with family, they would understand how to carry out their family responsibilities; family budgeting, maintaining relationships and tolerate others. In other word this prepare them to encounter real life experience. Take finance as an example, students understand that value of money and how much hard work required to secure money. Eventually, these students never spend money unnecessarily. By contrast, school going students rarely recognises these kind of information. Yet, another point is to consider here is that, learners can focus on their interested field more deeply, whereas the subject which find difficult can be assisted by either parents or by the help of experts. Having focused subject which enjoys, students would acquire a vast and in depth knowledge, this can lead them to conduct research on that particular topic later in their life, rather studing all subjects, including subjects nothing to do with a child’s interest. Additionally, child prodigies who can channelize their education according to their talents; for instance, music, dance, and painting. By way of conclusion, even though people have different opinion on homeschooling, I again reaffirm that, this method of teaching definitely give more and more child prodigies to the world.
People
prefer to traditional methods of schooling have been
changed
after the introduction of computers and the internet. There are
some
advocates argue that homeschooling has
many
advantages than going regular school education;
however
, there remain
some
arguments. In my opinion, I
strongly
, believe that homeschooling would enable children to learn more academic and
non academic
subjects
in
details
.

First of all
, by spending a large amount of time with family, they would understand how to carry out their family responsibilities; family budgeting, maintaining relationships and tolerate others. In other word
this prepare
them to encounter real life experience. Take finance as an example,
students
understand that value of money and how much
hard
work required to secure money.
Eventually
, these
students
never spend money
unnecessarily
. By contrast, school going
students
rarely
recognises
these kind
of information.

Yet
, another point is to consider here is that, learners can focus on their interested field more
deeply
, whereas the
subject
which find difficult can
be assisted
by either parents or by the
help
of experts. Having focused
subject
which enjoys,
students
would acquire a vast and in depth knowledge, this can lead them to conduct research on that particular topic later in their life,
rather
studing
all
subjects
, including
subjects
nothing to do with a child’s interest.
Additionally
, child prodigies who can channelize their education according to their talents;
for instance
, music, dance, and painting.

By way of conclusion,
even though
people
have
different
opinion on homeschooling, I again reaffirm that, this method of teaching definitely give more and more child prodigies to the world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. 2

Essay
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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