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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. v. 4
Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the health care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more sport and exercise in schools. In my opinion, I completely agree that this is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public health in relation to weight. Firstly, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a long term approach and introducing more sport and exercise in schools. This method will ensure that the next generation will be healthier and will not have such health problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does sport possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract their otherwise sedentary lifestyle. However, by incorporating more sports classes into the curriculum as well as encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active. Another point to consider is that having more sports lessons for children in schools will probably result in children developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and have a longer lasting effect. In other words, parents with sporty children are more likely to get involved in sport as a way of encouraging their children. By both parents and children being involved, it will ensure that children grow up to incorporate sport into their daily lives. This is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public health. In conclusion, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing sport in schools is the easiest and most effective method to use.
Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight
people
cause for

the
health
care system,
some
people
think
that the key to solving these issues is to

have more
sport
and exercise in schools. In my opinion, I completely
agree
that this

is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public
health
in relation to weight.

Firstly
, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best

solved by taking a long term approach and introducing more
sport
and exercise in

schools. This method will ensure that the
next
generation will be healthier and will

not have such
health
problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does

sport
possibly
twice a week, which is not
enough
to counteract their
otherwise


sedentary lifestyle.
However
, by incorporating more
sports
classes into the

curriculum
as well
as encouraging extracurricular
sports
activities, they will

undoubtedly
become fitter and more active.

Another point to consider is that having more
sports
lessons for
children
in schools

will
probably
result in
children
developing an interest in exercise which might filter

through to other members of their family and have a longer lasting effect. In other

words, parents with sporty
children
are more likely to
get
involved in
sport
as a
way


of
encouraging their
children
. By both parents and
children
being involved
, it
will


ensure
that
children
grow up to incorporate
sport
into their daily
lives
. This is

certainly
a natural and lasting way to
improve
public
health
.
In conclusion
, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, overweight
people
,

changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing
sport
in schools is the

easiest and most effective method to
use
.
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Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum.

Essay
6 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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