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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets and there is no need to go the Cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films needs to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets and there is no need to go the Cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films needs to be seen in a cinema. v. 1
There is no doubt that the world is rapidly changing and one of the biggest changes to it is digital disruption. Over the last few years technology has impacted our entertainment options too. Many people enjoy watching movies on their smart phones and tablets while others still entertain themselves by going to a theatre. In this essay, I will discuss both sides with examples followed by a conclusion. One of the main reasons to watch films on phones or tablets is the convenience. Everyone has got smart phones these days so they can literally watch movies from any location. For example, I travel in train and my journey to downtown takes three quarters of an hour, so I keep myself entertained by watching a movie on my iPad. Moreover, websites like Netflix offer monthly subscription plans at very reasonable prices. In addition, these plans include TV series, documentaries and over thousand films to watch and still they do not cost more than a couple of coffees from Starbucks. On the other side, most people are busy with their work and they need a break from daily routine, so going out to watch a film is the best option for them to entertain themselves. This also gives them an opportunity to catch up with friends and more importantly to socialize with other people. This helps to retain healthy relationships with friends and family too. In a nutshell, there is no doubt that digital entertainment is getting popular, but I personally believe that we should go out occasionally to watch movies with friends and take a break from our hectic schedule.
There is no doubt that the world is
rapidly
changing and one of the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to it is digital disruption. Over the last few
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
technology has impacted our entertainment options too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on their smart phones and tablets while others
still
entertain themselves by going to a
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. In this essay, I will discuss both sides with examples followed by a conclusion.

One of the main reasons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films on phones or tablets is the convenience. Everyone has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
smart phones these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
literally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
from any location.
For example
, I travel in train and my journey to downtown takes three quarters of an hour,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
myself entertained by watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on my iPad.
Moreover
, websites like Netflix offer monthly subscription plans at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reasonable prices.
In addition
, these plans include TV series, documentaries and over thousand films to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
and
still
they do not cost more than a couple of coffees from Starbucks.

On the other side, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are busy with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they need a break from daily routine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
going out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a film is the best option for them to entertain themselves. This
also
gives them an opportunity to catch up with friends and more
importantly
to socialize with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to retain healthy relationships with friends and family too.

In a nutshell, there is no doubt that digital entertainment is getting popular,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
believe that we should go out
occasionally
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
with friends and take a break from our hectic schedule.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets and there is no need to go the Cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films needs to be seen in a cinema. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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