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Some people say that now we can see films on our own phones and tablets there is no need to go to cinema, others, say to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both the views and give opinion. v.1

Some people say that now we can see films on our own phones and tablets there is no need to go to cinema, others, say to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in cinema. v. 1
Whether phones or tablets are an alternative method to see films compared to the traditional method of going to the cinema is highly debatable. While some people think that watching a movie on an electronic device is beneficial due to privacy and financial cost, others believe that film's essence can only be captured in the film. In my opinion, if the movie theater is fully packed, I would prefer to watch films on home television or computer. Firstly, the tickets cost has raised rapidly in almost every modern cinema, thereby many people don't have the luxury to go there with their families. However, an average movie house is still under most people budget, but the quality of the pitcher and the facilities are poor that people are better off watching films in their homes. As a tangible example, a survey undertaken by an entertainment organization has proved that most of the cinemas are outdated: low quality service, old technology, cheap interior design. Therefore, people like to watch a motion picture at home on their personal devices, which is more comfortable. Secondly, there is no doubt that the show house is root of entertainment that also brings people together to enjoy and engage in social interactions. Moreover, a new movie always comes in the movie theater first, which compels people to watch the film in the movie theatre. For instance, a movie name "Toy Story 3" released on internet after three months being played in cinemas worldwide. Thus, if a person is eager to watch a new film than he should go to the cinema. In a nutshell, watching a film on personal devices or at the cinema is a personal choice. The best choice should be made according to the personal taste and preference.
Whether phones or tablets are an alternative method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
films compared to the traditional method of going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is
highly
debatable. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on an electronic device is beneficial due to privacy and financial cost, others believe that film's essence can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be captured
in the film. In my opinion, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
theater is
fully
packed, I would prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films on home television or computer.

Firstly
, the tickets cost has raised
rapidly
in almost every modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, thereby
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't have the luxury to go there with their families.
However
, an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is
still
under most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
budget,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the quality of the pitcher and the facilities are poor that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are better off watching films in their homes. As a tangible example, a survey undertaken by an entertainment organization has proved that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
are outdated
: low quality service,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
interior design.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a motion picture at home on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
devices, which is more comfortable.

Secondly
, there is no doubt that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is root of entertainment that
also
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together to enjoy and engage in social interactions.
Moreover
, a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
theater
first
, which compels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the film in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
name
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Toy Story 3
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
released on internet after three months
being played
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
worldwide.
Thus
, if a person is eager to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a new film than he should go to the cinema.

In a nutshell, watching a film on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
devices or at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
choice. The best choice should
be made
according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
taste and preference.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our own phones and tablets there is no need to go to cinema, others, say to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in cinema. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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