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In schools and universities, girls tend to choose our while, boys like science. What are the reasons for this friend and you think this today should be changed v.1

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose our while, boys like science. What are the reasons for this friend and you think this today should be changed v. 1
As it is seen that girls prefer to choose their subject as art either in schools or universities whereas, boys opt science. In this essay, I will discuss the moto behind this and this trend should change or not. My position will be cleared in the ensuing paragraphs. To embark, There are several reasons for opting Art and Science subject by girls and boys respectively. The first thing which I want to mention is that most girls are of calm nature and they do everything with patience. So, they found art activities like drawing sketches, writing and many other, much more likeable as compared to other activity because of their interest in that particular field and somehow it also reflects their nature. Talking about the preference of boys, they love to do those things which they found challenging and brainstorming, which is a big reason that boys are good in subjects like Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry stopped because these subjects directly relate them to the reality, which they found more fascinating. In addition to this, they always prefer that task which triggers their mind and this type of tasks are more found in science. Well, everyone has its own taste so from that perspective I must say that these trends should not be changed because they are choosing their field due to their interest in that particular subject and if we force them to choose the other field and it may be difficult for that individual to survive in that field. As a result of which, he/she cannot do those things, which he/she is capable of. In conclusion, I want to say that it is good to choose what we like and the field which is of our interest either it is art or Science for any gender.
As it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that girls prefer to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
either in schools or universities whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
opt science. In this essay, I will discuss the
Possible spelling mistake found.
moto
behind this and this trend should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
or not. My position will
be cleared
in the ensuing paragraphs.

To embark, There are several reasons for opting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
by girls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
respectively
. The
first
thing which I want to mention is that most girls are of calm
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nature and
they do everything with patience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
activities like drawing sketches, writing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other, much more likeable as compared to other activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their interest in that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and somehow it
also
reflects their nature.

Talking about the preference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to do those things which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
challenging and brainstorming, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
directly
relate them to the reality, which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
more fascinating.
In addition
to this, they always prefer that task which triggers their mind and this type of tasks are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
in science.

Well, everyone has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
taste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
from that perspective I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that these trends should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are choosing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
due to their interest in that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and if we force them to choose the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and it may be difficult for that individual to survive in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
As a result
of which, he/she cannot do those things, which he/she is capable of.

In conclusion
, I want to say that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to choose what we like and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
which is of our interest either it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or Science for any gender.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In schools and universities, girls tend to choose our while, boys like science. What are the reasons for this friend and you think this today should be changed v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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