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Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some people believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Other, however, technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views v.2

Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some people believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Other, however, technology is the way to solve these problems. 2
Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some people believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Other, however, technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views It is true that technological advancements cause detrimental consequences to the fragile environment. While some argue that in order to tackle these environment-related problems people should adopt simpler lifestyles, I believe that the solutions lie in technologies that have been and are being developed. On the one hand, there are several reasons why it can be argued that relying less on technology could reduce the damage to the environment. The first reason is that if people opted to walk or cycle rather than driving, they could make a significant contribution to the protection of the environment. This is primarily because private vehicles discharge a substantial amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, which has proven to be the main culprit of global warming and ozone depletion. Another reason is that by cutting down the use of household facilities such as air conditioning or television, we could reduce the demand for energy which is mainly created by fossil fuel. Therefore, this environmentally friendly lifestyle could alleviate environmental degradation that the exploitation of non-renewable energy causes. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that the development of green technologies plays a pivotal role in environmental protection. Firstly, with state-of-the-art technologies, people now could develop eco-friendly transports powered by alternative energy sources without causing greenhouse gases emissions. For example, in Japan, most people could go to work by hybrid cars or solar-powered buses. Secondly, thanks to advances in waste treatment technologies, we can tackle the world’s waste crisis. For instance, biodegradable products help significantly reduce household wastes, or industrial zones and factories could alleviate water contamination by installing modern wastewater treatment systems. In conclusion, although I acknowledge that having a simple life with less sophisticated technology could mitigate environmental deterioration, I would contend that it is the development of technology that helps solve these serious problems.
Developments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have brought various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
simpler
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Other,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the way to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Discuss both
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
views


It is true that technological advancements cause detrimental
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
the fragile environment. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that in order to tackle these environment-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should adopt simpler lifestyles, I believe that the solutions lie in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
that have been and are
being developed
.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why it can
be argued
that relying less on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the damage to the environment. The
first
reason is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opted to walk or cycle
rather
than driving, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant contribution to the protection of the environment. This is
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
private vehicles discharge a substantial amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, which has proven to be the main culprit of global warming and ozone depletion. Another reason is that by cutting down the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of household facilities such as air conditioning or television, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the demand for energy which is
mainly
created by fossil fuel.
Therefore
, this
environmentally
friendly lifestyle could alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
degradation that the exploitation of non-renewable energy causes.

On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that the development of green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
plays a pivotal role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection.
Firstly
, with state-of-the-art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
could develop eco-friendly transports powered by alternative energy sources without causing greenhouse gases emissions.
For example
, in Japan, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could go to work by hybrid cars or solar-powered buses.
Secondly
, thanks to advances in waste treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, we can tackle the world’s waste crisis.
For instance
, biodegradable products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
household wastes, or industrial zones and factories could alleviate water contamination by installing modern wastewater treatment systems.

In conclusion
, although I acknowledge that having a simple life with less sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
deterioration, I would contend that it is the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
solve these serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some people believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Other, however, technology is the way to solve these problems. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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