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An American film actor once said, “Tomorrow is important and precious”. Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

An American film actor once said, “Tomorrow is important and precious”. Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. v. 2
Nowadays, due to the advancement of technology new inventions is coming into existence. It is a certainty that necessity is a mother of invention? The internet is just like a wonder box, which contains every type of information. Besides it has also proved as a very important tool to connect people with each other. In today's modernized era, nobody has sufficient time to write letters to their loved ones. Moreover it also takes longer to send or receive any information. But through an internet it is an easiest way to send messages to our loved ones. Either it can be in the form of an email or by text messages from internet to cell phones. We can send and receive messages straight way. In other hand, today's youth generation will mostly prefer to do chatting on the Internet. Through this chatting we can write messages and straight way can get their reply. Moreover, “voice chatting” is going to be a very popular day-by-day. As it is a reality that advantages and disadvantages are like both sides of a coin, which usually runs parallel. So like other things, internet also have some downsides, like people are facing some health problems, for example, poor eyesight, backache, migraine. Today's teenagers usually prefer to spend their time on the internet rather than to participating in other physical activities, so that's why they are going to be weaker in their physical health. To conclude, I would like to say that the internet is one of the most modernized and most successful tools, not only for communication, even to get more relevant information regarding every field in a very short period of time.
Nowadays, due to the advancement of technology new inventions is coming into existence. It is a certainty that necessity is a mother of invention? The internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like a wonder box, which contains every type of information.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
it has
also
proved as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool to connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with each other.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modernized era, nobody has sufficient time to write letters to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it
also
takes longer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
or receive any information.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
through an internet it is
Use "the" with the superlative.
an
easiest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Either it can be in the form of an email or by text
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
from internet to cell phones. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
and receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
straight way.

In other hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's youth generation will
mostly
prefer to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go chatting".
do chatting
on the Internet. Through this chatting we can write
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
and straight way can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their reply.
Moreover
, “voice chatting” is going to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular day-by-day. As it is a reality that advantages and disadvantages are like both sides of a coin, which
usually
runs parallel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
like other things, internet
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides, like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems,
for example
, poor eyesight, backache, migraine.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
usually
prefer to spend their time on the internet
rather
than to participating in other physical activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that's why they are going to be weaker in their physical health.

To conclude
, I would like to say that the internet is one of the most modernized and most successful tools, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for communication, even to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more relevant information regarding every field in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short period of time.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay An American film actor once said, “Tomorrow is important and precious”. Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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