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Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

In this contemporary era, health is most important factor of living. People needs to be more aware about their health, thus, some individuals think that the government should spend money on public for motivating health lifestyle rather than spending it on madical facilities. However, i strongly disagree with the given notation, which will be proved further in the upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost reason to disagree with this notation is that, human being already aware about their health. Moreover, they know that how much it is important to have a healthy lifestyle. It is waste of money to spend in it awareness program. For instance, recently, in the World, people are more aware about their health due to the corona pandemic and started using sanitizer and masks. The second most reason to disagree with this view is that, medical facilities is the basic rights for any human being. Moreover, people pay tax and expect something back from it. Furthermore, provide a treatment to people is far more important than pramoting healthy lifestyle. To illustrate, in corona pandemic, it is necessary to give vaccine to every person than just telling them to maintain social distance. To recapitulate, awareness is important but not more than treatment. It is a responsibility of the government to provide medical facility to them who are ill. Because, they are playing important role for developing a health nation.
In this contemporary era,
health
is
most
important
factor of living.
People
needs
to be more aware about their
health
,
thus
,
some
individuals
think
that the
government
should spend money on public for motivating
health
lifestyle
rather
than spending it on
madical
facilities.
However
,
i
strongly
disagree with the
given
notation, which will
be proved
further
in the upcoming paragraphs.
First
and foremost reason to disagree with this notation is that, human being already aware about their
health
.
Moreover
, they know that how much it is
important
to have a healthy lifestyle. It is waste of money to spend in it awareness program.
For instance
, recently, in the World,
people
are more aware about their
health
due to the corona pandemic and
started
using sanitizer and masks. The second most reason to disagree with this view is that, medical facilities is the basic rights for any human being.
Moreover
,
people
pay tax and
expect
something back from it.
Furthermore
, provide a treatment to
people
is far more
important
than
pramoting
healthy lifestyle. To illustrate, in corona pandemic, it is necessary to give vaccine to every person than
just
telling them to maintain social distance. To recapitulate, awareness is
important
but
not more than treatment. It is a responsibility of the
government
to provide medical facility to them who are ill.
Because
, they are playing
important
role for developing a
health
nation.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the public funds should be spent on promoting healthy living than on the treatment of people who are ill.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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