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Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. v. 1
It is thought by some people that it is an individual responsibility to preserve the environment whereas others assert that it is the government’s major role. In my opinion, the government can effective preserve it since they have the power to impose strict rules and regulation against environmental degradation. The government has the authority that can impose rules and regulations. With the emergence of the industrialization era, pollution has increased by several folds. By imposing heavy penalties and taxes against industries, the government curbs industrial wastes which are the main causative factor for air and water pollution. For example, after the implementation of environmental preservation act by the state of Maharashtra, the various industries started practicing proper waste and sewage disposal which in turn reduced the water pollution by one third saved millions of liter of water from being contaminated. Such a dramatic change is not practically possible by individual endeavors. One the other hand, individual can make certain changes to contribute to environmental preservation. With judicious use of material like plastics, they can considerably reduce pollution. For instance, when masses embarked to opt for paper bags against plastic carry bags, a host of renowned industries dwindled plastic production. Similarly, if an individual commute by public transport rather than their private vehicle, then it will not only diminish greenhouse gas emission which is responsible for global warming but also preserve natural resources. In conclusion, although people may vary in their opinion, I believe in preserving our ecosystem the government can bring some huge changes which including high fines and regulation.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that it is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
responsibility to preserve the environment whereas others assert that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
major role. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can effective preserve it since they have the power to impose strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation against environmental degradation.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the authority that can impose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations. With the emergence of the industrialization era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has increased by several folds. By imposing heavy penalties and taxes against industries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
curbs industrial wastes which are the main causative factor for air and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For example
, after the implementation of environmental preservation act by the state of Maharashtra, the various industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
practicing proper waste and sewage disposal which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
by one third saved millions of liter of water from
being contaminated
. Such a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is not
practically
possible by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
endeavors.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to contribute to environmental preservation. With judicious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of material like plastics, they can
considerably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For instance
, when masses embarked to opt for paper bags against plastic carry bags, a host of renowned industries dwindled plastic production.
Similarly
, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
commute by public transport
rather
than their private vehicle, then it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diminish greenhouse gas emission which is responsible for global warming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
preserve natural resources.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their opinion, I believe in preserving our ecosystem the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which including high fines and regulation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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