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Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. v. 2
Over the past few years with the invention and popularization of many new technologies, the environment has been suffering a huge loss. While many people have voiced their opinion that the onus is on the individuals to preserve the nature's treasure, Others believe that it should be the government's first priority. I believe, although the latter has the primary duty, citizens also should feel the responsibility and try their best to protect the habitat. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the argument and support my view with examples. We live in close contact with the nature and should be responsible enough to safeguard it. This is because many priceless gems of the God's creation are at our disposal. For example, Water, air and food are polluted and wasted every second. This can not only cause scarcity in the present era, but also lead to the miserable state of the future generations. Therefore, we should be careful regarding the usage of these free amenities. Furthermore, individuals can overcome this situation by using the public transportation and biodegradable products. On the other hand, the Ministry in charge of a particular country has a major role in bringing about the noticeable change. This is true because the power of controlling the behaviour of the people by the implementation of certain laws lies with the administration. For instance, Order concerning the ban of plastic bags and products has brought an unexpected transformation in the attitude of the community of my city. In addition the campaigns regarding the plantation of trees and awareness programmes about the climate change can cause a transition in the mindset. In conclusion, even though the government has the primary accountability of shielding the surroundings from a various harmful conditions, In my opinion a main proportion of the obligation is of the folks to defend the mother nature by reforming their approach towards it. This can be possible if the governing body and the society work together in harmony.
Over the past few years with the invention and popularization of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new technologies, the environment has been suffering a huge loss. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have voiced their opinion that the onus is on the individuals to preserve the nature's treasure, Others believe that it should be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's
first
priority. I believe, although the latter has the primary duty, citizens
also
should feel the responsibility and try their best to protect the habitat. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the argument and support my view with examples.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in close contact with the nature and should be responsible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to safeguard it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
priceless gems of the God's creation are at our disposal.
For example
, Water, air and food
are polluted
and wasted every second. This can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause scarcity in the present era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lead to the miserable state of the future generations.
Therefore
, we should be careful regarding the usage of these free amenities.
Furthermore
, individuals can overcome this situation by using the public transportation and biodegradable products.

On the other hand
, the Ministry in charge of a particular country has a major role in bringing about the noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. This is true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the power of controlling the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by the implementation of certain laws lies with the administration.
For instance
, Order concerning the ban of plastic bags and products has brought an unexpected transformation in the attitude of the community of my city. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the campaigns regarding the plantation of trees and awareness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
about the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can cause a transition in the mindset.

In conclusion
,
even though
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has the primary accountability of shielding the surroundings from a various harmful conditions, In my opinion a main proportion of the obligation is of the folks to defend the mother nature by reforming their approach towards it. This can be possible if the governing body and the society work together in harmony.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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