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Some adults believe that nowadays children's behavior is worse than children's behavior in the past. These adults have suggested 3 actions that parents can do to help their children aged 6 -10 behave better, (for example, speaking more respectf v.1

Some adults believe that nowadays children's behavior is worse than children's behavior in the past. These adults have suggested 3 actions that parents can do to help their children aged 6 -10 behave better, (for example, speaking more respectf v. 1
In this contemporary world, varieties of the educational institutes are available for the children to enrol into. Some people opine that it is significant for the younger ones to study in a gender isolated school, whereas others assert that the co-education has more advantages in a long run. This essay will highlight some reasons why the coeducation is more beneficial for the children than a single sex school. To begin with, mixed schools provide an opportunity to interact with the opposite gender, which ultimately aids in establishing a favourable environment in a workplace in the future. Almost all organizations and companies have male and female as an employee so that such companionship and the understanding between both sexes learnt in an educational organization will be beneficial in such circumstances to lead a happy professional life. For instance, a survey taken recently by the Nepal Employment Company stated that 78% of the worker who studied in a co-education were more open and creative in their work than others from a single gender school. Therefore, incorporating a child in a mixed alma mater will be essential to have a fruitful career and also personally in some level. Furthermore, studying in such educational institutes aids in developing a friendship among both sexes and also to respect the differences both physical and emotional of each other. A pupil from mixed schools are more acceptable, and easily make friends with anyone. To illustrate, an article in a popular newspaper of India stated that the students from coed are more social, and tend to make more friends in life than the other ones. Thereby, those types of educational institutes also boost our confidence to connect with anyone and enhance our social status. In conclusion, I believe mixed sex schools are more advantages for minor ones than same sex educational organizations as it helps them to lead a successful professional as well as personal life. So it is the duty of a parent to acknowledge what their child want and provide them the facilities accordingly.
In this contemporary world, varieties of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes are available for the children to enrol into.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that it is significant for the younger ones to study in a gender isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, whereas others assert that the co-education has more advantages in a long run. This essay will highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why the coeducation is more beneficial for the children than a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
school.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide an opportunity to interact with the opposite gender, which
ultimately
aids in establishing a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
environment in a workplace in the future. Almost all organizations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have male and female as an employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that such companionship and the understanding between both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexes
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
organization will be beneficial in such circumstances to lead a happy professional life.
For instance
, a survey taken recently by the Nepal Employment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
stated that 78% of the worker who studied in a co-education were more open and creative in their work than others from a single gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Therefore
, incorporating a child in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
alma mater will be essential to have a fruitful career and
also
personally
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
level.

Furthermore
, studying in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes aids in developing a friendship among both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexes
and
also
to respect the differences both physical and emotional of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. A pupil from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more acceptable, and
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with anyone. To illustrate, an article in a popular newspaper of India stated that the students from coed are more social, and tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends in life than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ones. Thereby, those types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes
also
boost our confidence to connect with anyone and enhance our social status.

In conclusion
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more advantages for minor ones than same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
organizations as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to lead a successful professional
as well
as personal life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is the duty of a parent to acknowledge what their child want and provide them the facilities
accordingly
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some adults believe that nowadays children's behavior is worse than children's behavior in the past. These adults have suggested 3 actions that parents can do to help their children aged 6 -10 behave better, (for example, speaking more respectf v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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