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Some people believe that young people should spend their free time with family rather than go to entertainment activities outside the house. Some disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that young people should spend their free time with family rather than go to entertainment activities outside the house. Some disagree. v. 1
Statement: A health and fitness magazine has asked its readers to write an article discussing the advantages and disadvantages of cycling as a form of transport. Write your article for the magazine. A hundred years ago, using bicycle as a means of transport was very widespread. Nowadays, however, when it is possible to utilize modern transports, is there any reason to cycle? There are many arguments for cycling. The main important advantage of cycling is that it is an environmentally-friendly way to travel, because it does not create air pollution. One point of view in favour of cycling is that it is a good form of exercise, particularly for the legs, heart and lungs. As a result, cycling helps you to stay fit. Moreover, it is often suggested that cycling is an inexpensive form of transport, because you do not have to spend money on thing such as petrol or costly repairs. Although there are several advantages, it brings some disadvantages. One of the major negatives is cycling on busy roads is not safe, because of not being given way to cyclists by drivers. In some cities the fumes are so bad that cyclists have to wear masks to protect them from pollution. In addition, bicycles are unsuitable for long journey. Because there is a limit to the distance a cyclist can reasonably travel in one day. To sum up, although there some disadvantages to travel by bicycle, I believe it is a very enjoyable experience. In my view, the journey has limit, but it is enough to enjoy.
Statement: A health and fitness magazine has asked its readers to write an article discussing the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
as a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. Write your article for the magazine. A hundred years ago, using bicycle as a means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
widespread. Nowadays,
however
, when it is possible to utilize modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
, is there any reason to cycle?

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
. The main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
is that it is an
environmentally
-friendly way to travel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not create air pollution. One point of view in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
is that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
form of exercise,
particularly
for the legs, heart and lungs.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to stay fit.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
is an inexpensive form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend money on thing such as petrol or costly repairs.

Although there are several advantages, it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. One of the major negatives is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycling
on busy roads is not safe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
way to cyclists by drivers. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities the fumes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
that cyclists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear masks to protect them from pollution.
In addition
, bicycles are unsuitable for long journey.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
there is a limit to the distance a cyclist can
reasonably
travel in one day.

To sum up, although there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to travel by bicycle, I believe it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enjoyable experience. In my view, the journey has limit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to enjoy.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that young people should spend their free time with family rather than go to entertainment activities outside the house. Some disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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