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Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this. v.1

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this. v. 1
Keeping your home and office clean with each item organized is always crucial. In my opinion, and in general, there are various reasons many people prefer to keep things managed and tidy. Firstly, hygeine is the most important factor as if it is not maintained, can give rise to health related issues. This applies at both home or at workplace. For example, some people like me, have health issues with breathing in the dusty places, and if the sitting area is not porperly dusted, it can lead difficulty in breathing. Moreover, children are more prone to fall sick if they are to deal with less clean home. For instance, most of the time kids are found crawling on the floor, and if the floor is not properly mopped, it may cause children catching the bacteria or any viral infection. Secondly, organized house and workplace looks more attractive to visitors, as well as, it gives you self satisfaction that you have done something amazing today. All above that, locating anything in such lucid area is relatively easy. For instance, files arranged in the office in chronological order helps to digout anything, anytime when needed. Likewise, any utensil from the kitchen will be easy to find out if they are perfectly organized or kept at the known place. To sum up, in my opinin, clean and clear workplace desk or home setting is not only applauded by third parties looking at your efforts, it also acts as a strong pillar to maintain the hygeinic environment, which is vital to fight against health related problems.
Keeping your home and office clean with each item organized is always crucial. In my opinion, and
in general
, there are various reasons
many
people
prefer to
keep
things managed and tidy.

Firstly
,
hygeine
is the most
important
factor as if it is not maintained, can give rise to health related issues. This applies at both home or at workplace.
For example
,
some
people
like me, have health issues with breathing in the dusty places, and if the sitting area is not
porperly
dusted, it can lead difficulty in breathing.
Moreover
, children are more prone to fall sick if they are to deal with less clean home.
For instance
, most of the time kids
are found
crawling on the floor, and if the floor is not
properly
mopped, it may cause children catching the bacteria or any viral infection.

Secondly
, organized
house
and workplace looks more attractive to visitors,
as well
as, it gives you
self satisfaction
that you have done something amazing
today
. All above that, locating anything in such lucid area is
relatively
easy.
For instance
, files arranged in the office in chronological order
helps
to
digout
anything, anytime when needed.
Likewise
, any utensil from the kitchen will be easy to find out if they are
perfectly
organized or
kept
at the known place.

To sum up, in my
opinin
, clean and
clear
workplace desk or home setting is not
only
applauded by third parties looking at your efforts, it
also
acts as a strong pillar to maintain the
hygeinic
environment, which is vital to fight against health related problems.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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