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some people say that is important to keep your home and workplace tidy with everything organized and in the correct place v.1

some people say that is important to keep your home and workplace tidy with everything organized and in the correct place v. 1
Time has always had a great value for people because it cannot be replaced by anything else. However, people often choose to invest it in their professional life rather than their personal one. This essay will discuss why this trend has more disadvantages than advantages for people. To begin with, nowadays the time spent at work is increasing significantly. That could be seen as a good thing if we think about the opportunity work brings with it. For example, more productivity means more money, which leads to a better standard of life. Furthermore, a better quality of life also brings another advantage, the evolution of society. This is strongly connected with the fast evolution of technology, which makes people work more than in the past. In fact, it is an interesting paradox; technology makes our life easier but, at the same time, it makes us work more. However, people are working more extra hours so as to increase their incomes. Even if it looks like a chain of prosperity in fact, it is a vicious one, due to the sacrifices it requires from people. On the other hand, the more time spent at the work place means the less time for private life. The greatest drawback, in my opinion, is that people are becoming less connected with themselves and with their families and close friends. For example, a person who spends ten hours at work has a very limited free time, and most of it is used for regular domestic activities like cooking, shopping, maybe cleaning the house, so there remains too little time to communicate with other people. Another important downside is the lack of time to enjoy the achievements of the amount of work. Many people have a lot of money, but they do not have time to spend it. At some point they will come to realize that the time has passed and they do not have many things to be proud of, because they are alone and have a boring life. Too much work can cause serious psychological and physical health problems. Many people suffer from stress, depression, heart diseases and so on. So, too much work can have serious negative effects on people. In conclusion, time is, probably, our most precious asset we can deal with. I consider that spending more time at work has more bad points than benefits in the long term. At the end of the day, we must find the balance between professional and private life.
Time
has always had a great value for
people
because
it cannot
be replaced
by anything else.
However
,
people
often
choose to invest it in their professional
life
rather
than their personal one. This essay will discuss why this trend has more disadvantages than advantages for
people
.

To
begin
with, nowadays the
time
spent at
work
is increasing
significantly
. That could be
seen
as a
good
thing if we
think
about the opportunity
work
brings with it.
For example
, more productivity means more money, which leads to a better standard of
life
.
Furthermore
, a better quality of
life
also
brings another advantage, the evolution of society. This is
strongly
connected with the
fast
evolution of technology, which
makes
people
work
more than in the past. In fact, it is an interesting paradox; technology
makes
our
life
easier
but
, at the same
time
, it
makes
us
work
more.
However
,
people
are working more extra hours
so as to
increase their incomes. Even if it looks like a chain of prosperity in fact, it is a vicious one, due to the sacrifices it requires from
people
.

On the other hand
, the more
time
spent at the
work
place means the less
time
for private
life
. The greatest drawback, in my opinion, is that
people
are becoming less connected with themselves and with their families and close friends.
For example
, a person who spends ten hours at
work
has a
very
limited free
time
, and most of it is
used
for regular domestic activities like cooking, shopping, maybe cleaning the
house
,
so
there remains too
little
time
to communicate with other
people
. Another
important
downside is the lack of
time
to enjoy the achievements of the amount of
work
.
Many
people
have
a lot of
money,
but
they do not have
time
to spend it. At
some
point they will
come
to realize that the
time
has
passed and
they do not have
many
things to be proud of,
because
they are alone and have a boring
life
. Too much
work
can cause serious psychological and physical health problems.
Many
people
suffer from
stress
, depression, heart diseases and
so
on.
So
, too much
work
can have serious
negative
effects on
people
.

In conclusion
,
time
is,
probably
, our most precious asset we can deal with. I consider that spending more
time
at
work
has more
bad
points than benefits in the long term. At the
end
of the day, we
must
find the balance between professional and private
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people say that is important to keep your home and workplace tidy with everything organized and in the correct place v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
415 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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