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Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy? v. 2
It is a fact that we are all in pursuit of happiness, but the one-million question is how we can achieve it. There are countless research and ideas of how to be happy in your daily day, but the formula just does not work the same for everybody. Working at something you love is actually important, but it is not the only acceptable explanation of your happiness. There are a number of reasons for this, which I briefly discuss in this essay. On the one hand, working in an industry you love makes a big difference. Successful people are passionate about their work and tend to be happier than the ones who detest it. Happiness comes when you are in a position which is challenging, fulfilling and fun. Likewise, having a helpful and hard-working group of work mates makes easier any task. It is incredibly motivating being part of a work team that is on the same wavelength. On the other hand, there are many other factors that you have to take it into account when you speak about happiness. Firstly, family and social relationships are extremely important for being happy. I strongly believe that is one of the mainstays of life. Being part of a group of people, doing things together and having fun are things that fulfil you and makes you happy. Moreover, having a hobby might help you to increase your happiness and satisfaction with life. To conclude, people can not only be happy if they have a job that really enjoy. It is an important part, but not the only. Happiness is personal and it means different things to different people. I do believe that a great deal of your happiness comes when you are surrounded by beloved people and do things that fulfil you.
It is a fact that we are all in pursuit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the one-million question is how we can achieve it. There are countless research and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in your daily day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the formula
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
the same for everybody. Working at something you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is actually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
acceptable explanation of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. There are a number of reasons for this, which I
briefly
discuss in this essay.

On the one hand, working in an industry you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference. Successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are passionate about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and tend to be happier than the ones who detest it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
when you are in a position which is challenging, fulfilling and fun.
Likewise
, having a helpful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
mates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
easier any task. It is
incredibly
motivating being part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
team
that is
on the same wavelength.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other factors that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take it into account when you speak about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Firstly
, family and social relationships are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. I
strongly
believe
that is
one of the mainstays of life. Being part of a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, doing things together and having fun are things that fulfil you and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
Moreover
, having a hobby might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to increase your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and satisfaction with life.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
if they have a job that
really
enjoy. It is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
is personal and it means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I do believe that a great deal of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
when you
are surrounded
by beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and do things that fulfil you.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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