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It is often claimed that electronic devices will soon replace paper books. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

People have always enjoyed reading since time immemorial. While, it is argued that conventional way of reading books is bound to disappear due to invention of electronic gadgets. I do not completely accord with it because hard copy books have unique characteristics that electronic gadgets will never possess. To initiate with, there are several reasons why conventional way of reading books is still popular? First of all, many people love reading paper book since it has a specific odour. The scent of a paper book helps a person to enjoy process of reading while electronic devices do not own such characteristic. For instance, the founder of Apple, Steve Jobs had always emphasized his love for the smell of books and said that there is nothing to replace it. In addition, electronics always require charging whereas paper books are permanently ready to use. Secondly, though books are heavy to carry and require a lot of care, readers can easily make notes and highlight keywords. Internet users are not able to do this. In addition to that, kids and school students learn faster by reading books rather than e-books. A recent report published in the UK elaborate that the people who read books possess better memory than those who use the internet. However, undoubtedly, technology has given radical approach to reading books. A plethora of books are available on the internet free of cost. As a result of this, many universities and schools now have decided to allow students to use the internet in the classrooms and libraries. Besides that, eBooks are environment friendly as they eliminate the need to cut down trees for the production of paper books. Moreover, eBooks are easy to share as no parcels are required to deliver them from one place to another. To conclude, the lives of people are drastically affected by the advanced versions of technology including e - books, yet in my opinion, it will not be able to pose threat to the existence of paper books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have always enjoyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
since time immemorial.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, it
is argued
that conventional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is bound
to disappear due to invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
gadgets. I do not completely accord with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have unique characteristics that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
gadgets will never possess.

To initiate with, there are several reasons why conventional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is
still
popular?
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
since it has a specific
Possible spelling mistake. ‘odour’ is British English.
odour
. The scent of a paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a person to enjoy process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
such characteristic.
For instance
, the founder of Apple, Steve Jobs had always emphasized his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for the smell of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and said that there is nothing to replace it.
In addition
, electronics always require charging whereas paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
permanently
ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

Secondly
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are heavy to carry and require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
care, readers can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
notes and highlight keywords. Internet users are not able to do this.
In addition
to that, kids and school students learn faster by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rather
than e-books. A recent report published in the UK elaborate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
possess better memory than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet.

However
,
undoubtedly
, technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
radical approach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. A plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are available on the internet free of cost.
As a result
of this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
universities and schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet in the classrooms and libraries.
Besides
that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eBooks
are environment friendly as they eliminate the need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down trees for the production of paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eBooks
are easy to share as no parcels
are required
to deliver them from one place to another.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the advanced versions of technology including e
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
yet
in my opinion, it will not be able to pose threat to the existence of paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
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Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay It is often claimed that electronic devices will soon replace paper books.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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