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In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v.2

In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 2
Recently more and more options have opened for youngster to pursue education, one of which is taking a gap year after finishing high school and before enrolling in university. This essay intends to analyse both sides of the choice. As regards the benefits, a period break during this period contributes a great deal to students' self-development and promotes essential skills for the future. During this time, students have chances to do whatever they want such as travelling abroad for further knowledge, participating in community services or trying applying for a job to discover their true abilities and wishes. Bill Gates, for instance, even dropped out of university and riskily set up his own business which led him to success. Moreover, students who experience such break tend to work excellently in academia as they have acquired crucial abilities and characteristics such as patience and determination. However, this is not an easy choice. It is a real challenge that will beat weaklings after a short period of time. Youngsters that have just gone out of high school do not fully prepared for difficulties. In the gap year, many choose to go overseas in which they may undergo homesickness or stress. Another problem to state is that some may be distracted from their original purposes as they experience such a variety of aspects of the society. To conclude, taking a space break between the end of high school and the beginning of an educational institution should be encouraged if young people are sure of what they are doing.
Recently more and more options have opened for youngster to pursue education, one of which is taking a gap year after finishing high school and
before
enrolling in university. This essay intends to
analyse
both sides of the choice.

As regards the benefits, a period break during this period contributes a great deal to students' self-development and promotes essential
skills
for the future. During this time, students have chances to do whatever they want such as travelling abroad for
further
knowledge, participating in community services or trying applying for a job to discover their true abilities and wishes. Bill Gates,
for instance
, even dropped out of university and
riskily
set up his
own
business which led him to success.
Moreover
, students who experience such break tend to work
excellently
in academia as they have acquired crucial abilities and characteristics such as patience and determination.

However
, this is not an easy choice. It is a real challenge that will beat weaklings after a short period of time. Youngsters that have
just
gone out of high school do not
fully
prepared for difficulties. In the gap year,
many
choose to go overseas in which they may undergo homesickness or
stress
. Another problem to state is that
some
may
be distracted
from their original purposes as they experience such a variety of aspects of the society.

To conclude
, taking a space break between the
end
of high school and the beginning of an educational institution should
be encouraged
if young
people
are sure of what they are doing.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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