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Some people say that holding sport competitions cause many troubles, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say that holding sport competitions cause many troubles, others disagree. v. 2
In today’s world, traffic and pollution are a huge obstacle to overcome in every nation. An increase in the cost of petrol is certainly not a better method to deal with such issues. This essay explains the reason to support why this is a bad idea and suggests possible measures. Increasing the petrol price burdens the citizens in an enormous way, especially to the ones who earn a low income. This approach only limits their freedom to travel as the transportation cost might also increase. For instance, in India, everything relies on transport and the revenue of the country is mostly dependent on it, which will be disturbed if people cannot afford to pay for the fuel. Clearly, this is the least significant method to reduce the pollution. There are other ways to resolve these complications. The government should encourage carpool and improve the public transportation. People should be aware of different ways they can travel together, thereby not causing any kind of traffic issue. For example, Canada is encouraging their citizens to utilize carpool whenever possible. This way, the number of vehicles allowed on a congested road can be controlled. People will start using public transport when the amenities are improved. So, the authorities should take a step towards it. As a result, less carbon dioxide will be released into the air thereby reducing the pollution. If these procedures are strictly followed by everyone, then the nations can see great results in eradicating the traffic congestion and having a pollution-free environment. In conclusion, instead of increasing the price of the fuels, other measures like improving transportation facilities and carpool should be encouraged in order to overcome the traffic and pollution issues.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution are a huge obstacle to overcome in every nation. An increase in the cost of petrol is
certainly
not a better method to deal with such issues. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the reason to support why this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and suggests possible measures.

Increasing the petrol price burdens the citizens in an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
,
especially
to the ones who earn a low income. This approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limits their freedom to travel as the transportation cost might
also
increase.
For instance
, in India, everything relies on transport and the revenue of the country is
mostly
dependent on it, which will
be disturbed
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot afford to pay for the fuel.
Clearly
, this is the least significant method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pollution.

There are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to resolve these complications. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage carpool and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the public transportation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should be aware of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
they can travel together, thereby not causing any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
issue.
For example
, Canada is encouraging their citizens to utilize carpool whenever possible. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
, the number of vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
on a congested road can
be controlled
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using public transport when the amenities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the authorities should take a step towards it.
As a result
, less carbon dioxide will
be released
into the air thereby reducing the pollution. If these procedures are
strictly
followed by everyone, then the nations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
great results in eradicating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and having a pollution-free environment.

In conclusion
,
instead
of increasing the price of the fuels, other measures like improving transportation facilities and carpool should
be encouraged
in order to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution issues.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that holding sport competitions cause many troubles, others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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