Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. v. 2
Sporting events play a significant role in a youth' s life, be health or career, sports has always been fruitful. Sporting events has undergone umpteenth success stories, stories of converting raw talents into legend of the game. Presently, it has been a burning issue whether youth should participate in sports competition or not? Here, I will discord with the given statement. Multifarious points are there to shore up my point of view. First and foremost, sporting events play paramount role to develop any player into a professional player. To be specific, competitions usually put players into immense pressure situation, winning by coming out of such situations boost the self confidence of any player which further helps any player to shine at international level. Further emphasising on my point of view, Sporting events are the best source to demonstrate the skills of a player that he/she posses. To illustrate, players try to perform by going out of their skin in competitions in order to prove themselves as a convincing player by securing win. In this rate-race of winning, skills of a player comes to an exposure. Adding to it, competition is best platform for a youth to learn the spirit of fraternity. For instance, competitions undergo several ups and downs, at times players help each other and even after match, winning players usually seems to be consoling the defeated players which urges the spirit of brotherhood in any player. On contrary, others have conflicting views. They believe that, sometime competition put players under great deal of pressure, pressure of proving themselves as promising player, pressure of meeting their parents expectations which usually ruin some players career when they end up as loosing side. What is more, competitions have noticeably been playing with the health of players. To reveal, players often try to train themselves at next level and usually get hurt in process of doing so. It can spell permanent exit of promising players to To recapitulate, sporting competitions are the key to build any player into a veteran and a professional player. Hence, I strongly believe that competitions ought to be held In order to transform a simple player into a full packaged veteran
Sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
play a significant role in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
youth&
#039; s life, be health or career, sports has always been fruitful. Sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
has undergone umpteenth success stories, stories of converting raw talents into legend of the game.
Presently
, it has been a burning issue whether youth should participate in sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
or not? Here, I will discord with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

Multifarious points are there to shore up my point of view.
First
and foremost, sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
play paramount role to develop any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
into a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
. To be specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
into immense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
situation, winning by coming out of such situations boost the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
which
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
to shine at international level.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasising' is British English.
emphasising
on my point of view, Sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are the best source to demonstrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
that he/
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'she'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
she posses
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
try to perform by going out of their skin in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
in order to prove themselves as a convincing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
by securing win. In this rate-race of winning,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to an exposure. Adding to it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is best platform for a youth to learn the spirit of fraternity.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
undergo several ups and downs, at times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other and even after match, winning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
seems to be consoling the defeated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
which urges the spirit of brotherhood in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
. On contrary, others have conflicting views.

They believe that, sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
under great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
of proving themselves as promising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
of meeting their parents expectations which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
ruin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
career when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up as loosing side.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
have
noticeably
been playing with the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. To reveal,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to train themselves at
next
level and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt in process of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. It can spell permanent exit of promising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


To recapitulate, sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
are the key to build any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
into a veteran and a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
.
Hence
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
ought to
be held
In order to transform a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
into a full packaged veteran
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
363 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts