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Some people say that holding sport competitions cause many troubles, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that holding sport competitions cause many troubles, others disagree. v. 1
There is no doubt that sports play significant role in bulding nation’s identity. However, it is a debatable topic that whether a country should host a sporting event. While some believe that it does more harm than good, I agree with those who argue that these events must be welcome because of their considerable advantages. To begin with drawbacks, it is clear that handsome amount of public money is spent for organizing these events. For developing country like India who is combating poverty, low-literacy and mal-nutrition and other problems. it is totally inappropriate to spent huge money on such fency events. For example, in 2010 Delhi common wealth games, the government used over 100 million rupees for managing events, city infrastructure beautification and foreign delegates hospitality while the state farmers were dealing with worst water shortage crisis. Thus, these expensive sporting events consume big chunk of government budget which can be used for other development programmes, therefore they should be avoided. However, despite organizing these event are costly affair, the virtu they bring along can not be ignored. Sportsmen, journalists and tourists around the world come for these events. While their visit, they interact with locals, understand culture, make friends, and finally it results in cordial relationship with foreign communities. Additionally, it not only thrusts tourism, but also opens new business horizon in internation market which ultimately accelerate economic growth. For instance, Indian GDP increased 0. 5% in subsequent year of hosting 2015 cricket world cup. All in all, these sporting events glorify overall image of country. In conclusion, although organizing such competitions are expensive, I feel that their contribution to economy, internation relationship and tourism are noteworthy and government should counduct them as and when feasible.
There is no doubt that sports play significant role in
bulding
nation’s identity.
However
, it is a debatable topic that whether a country should host a sporting
event
. While
some
believe that it does more harm than
good
, I
agree
with those who argue that these
events
must
be welcome
because
of their considerable advantages.

To
begin
with drawbacks, it is
clear
that handsome amount of public money
is spent
for organizing these
events
. For
developing country
like India who is combating poverty, low-literacy and
mal-nutrition
and other problems.
it
is
totally
inappropriate to spent huge money on such
fency
events
.
For example
, in 2010 Delhi common wealth games, the
government
used
over 100 million rupees for managing
events
, city infrastructure beautification and foreign delegates hospitality while the state farmers were dealing with
worst
water shortage crisis.
Thus
, these expensive sporting
events
consume
big
chunk of
government
budget which can be
used
for other development
programmes
,
therefore
they should
be avoided
.

However
, despite organizing these
event
are costly affair, the
virtu
they bring along can not be
ignored
. Sportsmen, journalists and tourists around the world
come
for these
events
. While their visit, they interact with locals, understand culture,
make
friends, and
finally
it results in cordial relationship with foreign communities.
Additionally
, it not
only
thrusts tourism,
but
also
opens new business horizon in internation market which
ultimately
accelerate economic growth.
For instance
, Indian GDP increased 0. 5% in subsequent year of hosting 2015 cricket world cup. All in all, these sporting
events
glorify
overall
image of country.

In conclusion
, although organizing such competitions are expensive, I feel that their contribution to economy, internation relationship and tourism are noteworthy and
government
should
counduct
them as and when feasible.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people say that holding sport competitions cause many troubles, others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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