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Some people say that historical buildings should be knocked down, while others believe that they should be preserved and restored instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that historical buildings should be knocked down, while others believe that they should be preserved and restored instead. v. 1
It is often considered by many people that the ancient edifice should get demolished. Whereas, restoration and preservation are required for such construction which is a thought of many others. I am inclined towards later view and opine that our archaeological assets are required to be maintained for the historical values as well as economics point of view. The history of our nation keeps immense glorious stories, and which can only be kept alive by keeping these places secured and in a protected manner. For instance, famous Amer fort in Jaipur city gives the glimpse of its sumptuous lifestyle of its king and queen of the area and of the people who lived there. Not only rulers story, but the story of their ancestors is also associated with these buildings. Therefore, people are emotionally attached to these structures. Additionally, while values are associated with the local people, these constructions also provide aid in generating the revenue to the local government due to increased tourism due to such grandeur piece of art. For example, people of Agra city earn the most of its income from tourist who visit there to see the magnificent beauty of the Taj Mahal, a famous monument. To summarize, although it is true that a lot of money is spent by the government to restore and preserve these buildings and in its maintenance, the return which people and the authority also get in return is invaluable. Hence, people should understand the respect of such places and start taking initiative in making others aware about the glorious stories associated with the places. Our government should also take the agile steps in keeping these places restored.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the ancient edifice should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
demolished. Whereas, restoration and preservation
are required
for such construction which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. I
am inclined
towards later view and opine that our archaeological assets
are required
to
be maintained
for the historical values
as well
as economics point of view.

The history of our nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
immense glorious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
, and which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
alive by keeping these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
secured and
Consider replacing "in a protected manner" with the adverb for "protected"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a protected manner
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Amer
The singular proper name 'Amer' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "forts", "".
fort
in Jaipur city gives the glimpse of its sumptuous lifestyle of its king and queen of the area and of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
there. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "rulers'" or "ruler's"?
rulers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
of their ancestors is
also
associated with these buildings.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
emotionally
attached to these structures.

Additionally
, while values
are associated
with the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, these constructions
also
provide aid in generating the revenue to the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
due to increased tourism due to such grandeur piece of art.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Agra city earn the most of its income from tourist who visit there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the magnificent beauty of the Taj Mahal, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
monument.

To summarize
, although it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money
is spent
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to restore and preserve these buildings and in its maintenance, the return which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the authority
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in return is invaluable.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should understand the respect of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking initiative in making others aware about the glorious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
take the agile steps in keeping these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
restored.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that historical buildings should be knocked down, while others believe that they should be preserved and restored instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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