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In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v.8

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 8
It is argued that the average weight of the people is rising in different countries and their health condition and fitness is declining. I will discuss the key factors why these problems have arisen and some steps to eliminate these problems. To begin with, obesity is increasing among people, which declines in their health condition and ability to work. People consumed foods in fast food restaurant which contains high fat and sugar. Fat and sugar produces more glucose in the human body and people become lazy and deteriorate the sustainability of people. In addition, lack of facilities for regular physical exercises another major problem to raise the weight of the people. Overweight reduces the health ability to work and fall down the body fitness. For instance, WHO published a survey that in 2017 more than 60% people were suffering obesity due to consumption of fast food and lack of physical exercise. Hence, consumption of Junk foods and lack physical exercises are main causes for several health problems. There are different ways to do resolve these problem. One of them, the government can impose more vat on fast food so that people can avoid eating these type foods. People should eat low cholesterol food such as wheat, oat etc. Physical exercise is another ways to reduce weight and burn calories of human bodies. For example, people can do cycling, play outdoor games and other activities to control their body weight. Therefore, physical exercise greatly helpful to control overweight. To conclude up, the average weight of people is creating effects on human health and fitness. If the government should not increase the expenditure of fast food and more facilities for physical exercise, it would be more dangerous for the next generation.
It
is argued
that the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is rising in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition and fitness is declining. I will discuss the key factors why these problems have arisen and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to eliminate these problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, obesity is increasing among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which declines in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition and ability to work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurant which contains high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugar.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fat
and sugar produces more glucose in the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become lazy and deteriorate the sustainability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, lack of facilities for regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
another major problem to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
ability to work and fall down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
fitness.
For instance
, WHO published a survey that in 2017 more than 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were suffering obesity due to consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Hence
, consumption of Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
are main causes for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to do resolve
Did you mean "this problem" or "these problems"?
these problem
. One of them, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can impose more vat on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can avoid eating these type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should eat low cholesterol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as wheat, oat etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is another ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and burn calories of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go cycling".
do cycling
, play outdoor games and other activities to control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
greatly
helpful to control overweight.

To conclude
up, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is creating effects on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and fitness. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not increase the expenditure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and more facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, it would be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the
next
generation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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