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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.22

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 22
In today's era, some groups of members in society are using animals for their personal benefits like killing for offering to god and also for medical inventions. But the other part of the society members condemns this and suggest to treat them equal to human beings. I strongly admit and stand with the opinion of treating every creature on earth as a human being. This essay would discuss both the views in detail. The majority of the people using animals for food preparation, as 80% of the people across the world are non-vegetarians. All the restaurants and food courts are the top users of animals. Moreover, animals are used for medical inventions & practices. For example, some parts of the dog are used for producing insulin medicine which is used for treating diabetes in human beings. Also, newly invented medicines are applied to animals to test whether they sustain or not for high dosages. However, there are other parts of the society members, who seriously deny this. They believe that the government should encourage researchers to identify the alternative methodologies to not to use the animal creatures. For example, entrepreneurs to invent technologies that create robot-based DNA structures as like animals so that the animal extinction can be reduced. Also, in parallel awareness campaigns to be introduced to highlight the benefits of vegetarian food. In conclusion, it is important that medical research is undoubtedly required to keep the world healthy. However, people should be mindful of the fact that animals also have equal rights as human beings.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of members in society are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their personal benefits like killing for offering to god and
also
for medical inventions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the other part of the society members condemns this and
The verb 'suggest' is used with the gerund form: "suggest treating".
suggest to treat
them equal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. I
strongly
admit and stand with the opinion of treating every creature on earth as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being. This essay would discuss both the views in detail.

The majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for food preparation, as 80% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the world are non-vegetarians. All the restaurants and food courts are the top users of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for medical inventions & practices.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the dog are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for producing insulin medicine which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for treating diabetes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
Also
,
newly
invented medicines
are applied
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
whether they sustain or not for high dosages.

However
, there are other parts of the society members, who
seriously
deny this. They believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage researchers to identify the alternative methodologies
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
creatures.
For example
, entrepreneurs to invent technologies that create robot-based DNA structures as like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
extinction can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Also
, in parallel awareness campaigns to
be introduced
to highlight the benefits of vegetarian food.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that medical research is
undoubtedly
required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the world healthy.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be mindful of the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
also
have equal rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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