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Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.17

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 17
The crime rates have been increasing day by day and year by year due to various circumstances. However, the reasons can be education, unemployment, poverty, their childhood incidents and influence of others. This essay discusses the causes and also the necessary solutions to reduce the crimes. The main purpose of the increase in illegal acts is because, there is a lack of education among children who cannot understand that their deeds are wrong. However, there are some people who are educated but unemployed because of the heavy competition for jobs that are available, so they do crimes and earn the money for their livelihood. Moreover, they turn it into their profession and influence many people to become part of their misdeeds. In addition to these objectives, people want luxuries in their lives without working hard, so they choose the path of offence and start illegal activities like robbery, chain snatching and also try to control other people by threatening them in giving wealth or assets. For example, I have read an incident about the kidnap of a child in a newspaper for a sum of 1crore and the person who has done the crime was an engineering graduate who was unemployed and chose this path to earn money for living. Indeed, there are many ways to avert the rise of unlawful acts with the help of the government and co-operation of the public to such measures. Firstly, to provide a basic education for children so that they can learn the good values and morals of a healthy lifestyle from a young age. Secondly, the council must provide jobs facilities for almost all the graduates so that they could receive a basic salary to run their families. In conclusion, it is better to put a stop to illegal acts at a beginning stage of creating awareness among people through strict laws and rules from the government rather than regretting at a later stage.
The crime rates have been increasing day by day and year by year due to various circumstances.
However
, the reasons can be education, unemployment, poverty, their childhood incidents and influence of others. This essay discusses the causes and
also
the necessary solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crimes.

The main purpose of the increase in illegal acts is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there is a lack of education among children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot understand that their deeds are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unemployed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the heavy competition for jobs that are available,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do crimes and earn the money for their livelihood.
Moreover
, they turn it into their profession and influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become part of their misdeeds.
In addition
to these objectives,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want luxuries in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they choose the path of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
illegal activities like robbery, chain snatching and
also
try to control other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by threatening them in giving wealth or assets.
For example
, I have read an incident about the kidnap of a child in a newspaper for a sum of 1crore and the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has done the crime was an engineering graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was unemployed
and chose this path to earn money for living.

Indeed
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to avert the rise of unlawful acts with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and co-operation of the public to such measures.
Firstly
, to provide a basic education for children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
values and morals of a healthy lifestyle from a young age.
Secondly
, the council
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide jobs facilities for almost all the graduates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could receive a basic salary to run their families.

In conclusion
, it is better to put a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to illegal acts at a beginning stage of creating awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through strict laws and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
rather
than regretting at a later stage.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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