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Too much money is spent on looking after and repairing old buildings. Some people think that these buildings should be knocked down and modern buildings should be built instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Too much money is spent on looking after and repairing old buildings. Some people think that these buildings should be knocked down and modern buildings should be built instead. with this statement? v. 1
Current expenditures on the reconstruction of old buildings are believed to be excessive. This essay agrees that new modern buildings should be built instead of old constructions. Firstly, old buildings tend to have high risks of collapsing. With time, materials such as concrete and bricks that were used in erecting old buildings lose their quality due to some phenomena. For example, old buildings get a lot of damage when they witness numerous cases of earthquake and storms. As a consequence, the level of safety in these buildings suffers greatly. Moreover, old buildings hardly offer decent commodities to users. In other words, workers whose workplace is located in an old premise have low job satisfaction levels due to some discomforts such as frequent leaking and poor air circulation. On the other hand, replacing old constructions with modern ones brings a number of advantages. Unlike old buildings, newly built premises do not require constant repairment and offer their users much more comfortabilities like appropriate lightening as well as cooling and heating systems. Furthermore, current technological breakthroughs and modern ways of using light construction materials have enhanced the safety to a large extent. For instance, contemporary buildings contain special exits in case of emergencies, which old buildings tend to lack. Therefore, I believe that more funds should be allocated to the construction of modern buildings than taking care of old premises. By way of conclusion, modern buildings offer greater number of advantages than old buildings. Hence, I think that they should receive more money to be built rather than wasting money on fixing the problems of tumbledown buildings.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Current
expenditures on the reconstruction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are believed
to be excessive. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be built
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
constructions.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
tend to have high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of collapsing. With time, materials such as concrete and bricks that were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in erecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
lose their quality due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
phenomena.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
damage when they witness numerous cases of earthquake and storms. As a consequence, the level of safety in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
suffers
greatly
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
hardly offer decent commodities to users.
In other words
, workers whose workplace
is located
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
premise have low job satisfaction levels due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
discomforts such as frequent leaking and poor air circulation.

On the other hand
, replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
constructions with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
ones brings a number of advantages. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
,
newly
built premises do not require constant repairment and offer their users much more
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfortabilities
like appropriate lightening
as well
as cooling and heating systems.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
technological breakthroughs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
ways of using light construction materials have enhanced the safety to a large extent.
For instance
, contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
contain special exits in case of emergencies, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
tend to lack.
Therefore
, I believe that more funds should
be allocated
to the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
than taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
premises.

By way of conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
offer greater number of advantages than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should receive more money to
be built
rather
than wasting money on fixing the problems of tumbledown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Too much money is spent on looking after and repairing old buildings. Some people think that these buildings should be knocked down and modern buildings should be built instead. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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