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Some people say that government should break down all the historical buildings and replace them with modern buildings Do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people say that government should break down all the historical buildings and replace them with modern buildings v. 2
Should the government advocate development at the cost of demolishing historic buildings? Absolutely not! Even thought some may concur that it is essential to replace them with modern buildings, another school of thought have completely opposing views. In my opinion, history should be cherished rather than destroyed and the same shall be analyzed in this essay. To begin with, historic buildings are the final thread of connection to our rich and varied history. They remind us of the struggles and efforts undertaken by our ancestors to safeguard the people and preserve the culture. Secondly, many buildings have an ancient construction, particularly the colonial structures, which are very rare to witness these day. Hence, these have been converted into local attractions that attract countless of tourists and generates income for the government. For example, the Taj Mahal, which is an important structure in Indian history, is frequented by many and is also considered to be one of the major contributors to the tourism industry. If we demolish these structures to build modern buildings, there will be serious repercussions. Similarly, these historic buildings are considered to be a symbol of pride. Instead of breaking them down, the government should make efforts to restore them to their former glory. Although, due to the housing problem it is vital to build modern buildings, but that cannot be achieved by compromising historic buildings. For instance, in India many significantly important buildings were broken down to pave the way for new constructions, however, the housing problems still persists and remains unresolved. Therefore, the government should in evidently adopt alternative approach rather than just ruthlessly tearing down historic structures. In conclusion, I believe historic buildings should be preserved since they are a reminder of the history and also enhances tourism that contributes to the economy. Furthermore, the government should maintain them as they are a symbol of gratification for the country.
Should the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
advocate development at the cost of demolishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
?
Absolutely
not! Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may concur that it is essential to replace them with modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
have completely opposing views. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
should
be cherished
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and the same shall
be analyzed
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are the final thread of connection to our rich and varied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. They remind us of the struggles and efforts undertaken by our ancestors to safeguard the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and preserve the culture.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have an ancient construction,
particularly
the colonial structures, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare to witness
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
.
Hence
, these have
been converted
into local attractions that attract
Do not use "of" after "countless". Did you mean "countless tourists"?
countless of tourists
and generates income for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
For example
, the Taj Mahal, which is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
structure in Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
is frequented
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and is
also
considered to be one of the major contributors to the tourism industry. If we demolish these structures to build modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, there will be serious repercussions.

Similarly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are considered
to be a symbol of pride.
Instead
of breaking them down, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts to restore them to their former glory. Although, due to the housing problem it is vital to build modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that cannot
be achieved
by compromising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
For instance
, in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
were broken
down to pave the way for new constructions,
however
, the housing problems
still
persists and remains unresolved.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should in
evidently
adopt alternative approach
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ruthlessly
tearing down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
structures.

In conclusion
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be preserved
since they are a reminder of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
also
enhances tourism that contributes to the economy.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should maintain them as they are a symbol of gratification for the country.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that government should break down all the historical buildings and replace them with modern buildings v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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