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Some people say that Government should break down all the historic building and replace them with modern buildings. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that Government should break down all the historic building and replace them with modern buildings. v. 1
A few people think that all monuments built during ancient times must be replaced with new structures by the government. I strongly disagree to this fact since our government will not be able to recreate them and these buildings make learning history easier for our children. Our engineers today will not be able to build a structure as strong and sturdy as our ancient monuments. In the good old days, the ministry under the rule of kings were able to build structures which could stand firm and last for many centuries. Unless and until their age-old engineering techniques remain hidden, the government at present cannot recreate nor renew these buildings. For example, the Big temple at Tanjore built under the rule of King Raja Raja Chola holds a lot of mysteries for over 1000 years. The engineering behind how the capstone which weighs 100 tons was taken to the height of 200 metres and placed above the temple is still not discovered. Historical tours for students makes learning easier and help younger generation realise our great heritage. Rather than reading and memorizing content from text books, children should be taken to monuments and allowed to touch and feel the architecture of structures. Moreover, such trips will inculcate the importance of our culture and permit children to take pride in our heritage. A recent survey conducted among students who chose History and Civics as their majors, reveals that 90% of them prefer educational tours to historical places rather than excursions for entertainment. I would like to conclude by disagreeing to the fact that the present authorities should destroy our ancient buildings and replace them with new structures. Historical monuments should be maintained by the government since we cannot raise one such everlasting structure today and through these monuments we would be able to educate and pass on our rich tradition to the young generation.
A few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
built during ancient times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be replaced
with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. I
strongly
disagree to this fact since our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to recreate them and these buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
learning history easier for our children.

Our engineers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
as strong and sturdy as our ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, the ministry under the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of kings were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
which could stand firm and last for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries. Unless and until their age-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
engineering techniques remain hidden, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
at present cannot recreate nor renew these buildings.
For example
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
temple at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tanjore
built under the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of King
Possible typo: you repeated a word
Raja Raja
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chola
holds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
mysteries for over 1000 years. The engineering behind how the capstone which weighs 100 tons
was taken
to the height of 200
Possible spelling mistake. 'metres' is British English.
metres
and placed above the temple is
still
not discovered.

Historical tours for students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
learning easier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
younger generation
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
our great heritage.
Rather
than reading and memorizing content from text books, children should
be taken
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to touch and feel the architecture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
.
Moreover
, such trips will inculcate the importance of our culture and permit children to take pride in our heritage. A recent survey conducted among students who chose History and Civics as their majors, reveals that 90% of them prefer educational tours to historical places
rather
than excursions for entertainment.

I would like
to conclude
by disagreeing to the fact that the present authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
our ancient buildings and replace them with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
. Historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
should
be maintained
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
since we cannot raise one such everlasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and through these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
we would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to educate and pass on our rich tradition to the young generation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that Government should break down all the historic building and replace them with modern buildings. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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