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Many people do not pay enough attention to their mental and physical well being What are the causes of this Support your opinion with explanations and examples and provide possible solutions v.1

Many people do not pay enough attention to their mental and physical well being What are the causes of this Support your opinion with explanations and examples and provide possible solutions v. 1
Nowadays, people are becoming more and more unfit mentally and physically. Many people suffer from mental and physical causes such as stress, anxiety, depression and tiredness and many more, these lead to lower quality of life. The most common causes are people neglect their health because of work and entertainment, and the solution are better time management and proper diet. To begin with, these days people do not invest their time in their mental and physical health because of work and entertainment. To explain this, many individuals work hard and spend 10 to 12 at the work site five days a week to make ends meet and these figures are skyrocketing nowadays. At the end of the day, they have time for themselves and opt to watch movies and playing video games on the couch rather than spending time with family or going to the gym. These lifestyles eventually lead to many mental and physical causes. For example, according to WHO, 55% of adults are suffering from mental stress and overweight due to lack of exercise and poor diet. However, mental and physical fitness deterioration can be reduced by taking proper nutrition and utilize the time. To illustrate this, nowadays people don’t have enough time to cook because of the hectic schedule so they eat unhealthy and fast-food. Therefore, people should add fruits, beans and protein foods, which helps to keep energetic and helps to released emotional stress. Furthermore, persons should invest their free time in physical exercise into the gym and swimming clubs rather than spending time on the couch to watch movies and playing digital games. Therefore, this productive step leads to help people keep physically fit. In conclusion, people are ignoring the emotional and physical movement nowadays. to resolve this problem people should consume protein foods and join the gym and swimming clubs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nowadays
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more and more unfit mentally and
physically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
causes such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, anxiety, depression and tiredness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, these lead to lower quality of life. The most common causes are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
neglect their health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and entertainment, and the solution are better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and proper diet.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not invest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and entertainment. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and spend 10 to 12 at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
site five days a week to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and these figures are skyrocketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves and opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies and playing video games on the couch
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family or going to the gym. These lifestyles
eventually
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
causes.
For example
, according to
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
, 55% of adults are suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and overweight due to lack of exercise and poor diet.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness deterioration can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by taking proper nutrition and utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To illustrate this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the hectic schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they eat unhealthy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
fruits, beans and protein foods, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
energetic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to released emotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Furthermore
, persons should invest their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise into the gym and swimming clubs
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the couch to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies and playing digital games.
Therefore
, this productive step leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
physically
fit.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ignoring the emotional and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
movement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
resolve this problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should consume protein foods and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the gym and swimming clubs.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people do not pay enough attention to their mental and physical well being What are the causes of this Support your opinion with explanations and examples and provide possible solutions v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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