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Should a city try to preserve its old, historical buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Should a city try to preserve its old, historical buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Whether nations Should spend The Money on several researches or not, have been the epicentre of discussion and a unanimous Conclusive agreement is yet to be achieved Whereas, people have expressed their views on it through multiple modes of communication, be it the mainstream media or the social media I endorse the statement half-heartedly, I have some solid Grounds to defend my perceptions which I would like to explicate it At length in the paragraphs to come. To begin with the majority of people believes that countries should make a whooping investment for numerous researchers. Researches for life saving drugs and life-comforting devices are an essential element And government should make thumping investment to carry out all the research. For instance, the life expectancy was nearly 30 years around two centuries back. Many people who had contracted certain diseases such as jaundice malaria, flu and dengue fever had died because we did not have the effective remedy. Now, However, the scenario has completely changed. Scientists, By means of research and sheer preservence Have gifted as various preventive measures and vaccines to shield our body. Today the life expectancy has reached Nearly 65 years and it is expected to touch 90 years in the near future of medical researches. Moreover the converse side is also true. The banking institutions report that over two million People in the earth on less than hundred Rs. A day This means that they do not have enough money to appease the hunger. It is horrible to witness that thousands of people stop every day owing to, which they are dying and we do not even get clothes to wear or shelter to live. In conclusion, both point of you have strong merits. Although, It is important to conduct research is to cure the disease, but it is also significant to look after the poor section of the society. Ergo, it is an ethical dilemma and the only solution to this problem is to spend money proportionately on both things.
Whether nations Should spend The Money on several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
or not, have been the
Possible spelling mistake. 'epicentre' is British English.
epicentre
of discussion and a unanimous Conclusive agreement is
yet
to
be achieved
Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have expressed their views on it through multiple modes of communication, be it the mainstream media or the social media I endorse the statement half-
heartedly
, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solid Grounds to defend my perceptions which I would like to explicate it At length in the paragraphs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believes that countries should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a whooping investment for numerous researchers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Researches
for life saving drugs and life-comforting devices are an essential element And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
thumping investment to carry out all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
For instance
, the life expectancy was
nearly
30 years around two centuries back.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had contracted certain diseases such as jaundice malaria, flu and dengue fever had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we did not have the effective remedy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
However
, the scenario has completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Scientists, By means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and sheer
Possible spelling mistake found.
preservence
Have gifted as various preventive measures and vaccines to shield our body.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
the life expectancy has reached
Nearly
65 years and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to touch 90 years in the near future of medical researches.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the converse side is
also
true. The banking institutions report that over two million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in the earth on less than
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
Rs. A day This means that they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to appease the hunger. It is horrible to witness that thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
every day owing to, which they are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dying and
we do not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
clothes to wear or shelter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

In conclusion
, both point of you have strong merits. Although, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is to cure the disease,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
significant to look after the poor section of the society. Ergo, it is an ethical dilemma and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to this problem is to spend money
proportionately
on both things.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Should a city try to preserve its old, historical buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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