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Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. v.2

Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. v. 2
Caregivers share the common ground when it comes to childcare activities. In this regard, showing the correct ropes for a growing child to become a shining star in life has been a monopoly for years. Giving weekly pocket money for their wards seem to be a helpful method to make them grow as more competent individuals, according to some parents. While this practice is being beneficial to a certain extent, I also believe it has its own drawbacks. Money given on a weekly basis to children could help them to become adept at financial management in future. This is because right from childhood they would know the value of money and what can be bought with how much cost. Besides, they would have also been exposed to situations wherein they have to save a fortnight’s money to get something essential. For example, a recent study on child’s attitude to finance, 2014, presents that, if Rs 50 is given per week to a child, the response would be planned expenditure in the fourth week in comparison with the first week. All in all, this change in perception of finance and its efficient planning would definitely help out in the future life of every child. On the flipside, the penny allotted for children at an early age could deteriorate their lives. There are high probabilities that they may be misled due to their acquaintance. Take for an instance, a child whose essentials are taken care by parents and does not want to spend money on anything, a companion of the child, in particular at the adolescent stage, might make him indulge in some anti- social activities like smoking or drinking. Therefore, until a child gets matured to become aware of the ins and outs of life, even a single penny given would drift away him or her from the path of life. In conclusion, though a grown-up man or woman takes some time to get on grips economically and attain a social status, it is all a part and parcel of life. In my opinion, the early stage of life, childhood should only be spent for having academic skills as well as pedagogic learning of basic expenses. But if the mother’s and father’s trust this method, the expenses are to be followed by them to borne fruitful results out of this.
Caregivers share the common ground when it
comes
to childcare activities. In this regard, showing the correct ropes for a growing
child
to become a shining star in
life
has been a monopoly for years. Giving weekly pocket
money
for their wards seem to be a helpful method to
make
them grow as more competent individuals, according to
some
parents. While this practice is being beneficial to a certain extent, I
also
believe it has its
own
drawbacks.

Money
given
on a weekly basis to children could
help
them to become adept at financial management
in future
. This is
because
right from childhood they would know the value of
money
and what can be
bought
with how much cost.
Besides
, they would have
also
been exposed
to situations wherein they
have to
save a fortnight’s
money
to
get
something essential.
For example
, a recent study on
child’s
attitude to finance, 2014, presents that, if Rs 50 is
given
per week to a
child
, the response would
be planned
expenditure in the fourth week
in comparison
with the
first
week. All in all, this
change
in perception of finance and its efficient planning would definitely
help
out in the future
life
of every child.

On the
flipside
, the penny allotted for children at an early age could deteriorate their
lives
. There are high probabilities that they may
be misled
due to their acquaintance. Take for an instance, a
child
whose essentials
are taken
care by parents and does not want to spend
money
on anything, a companion of the
child
,
in particular
at the adolescent stage, might
make
him indulge in
some
anti- social activities like smoking or drinking.
Therefore
, until a
child
gets
matured to become aware of the ins and outs of
life
, even a single penny
given
would drift away him or her from the path of life.

In conclusion
, though a grown-up
man
or woman takes
some
time to
get
on grips
economically
and attain a social status, it is all a part and parcel of
life
. In my opinion, the early stage of
life
, childhood should
only
be spent
for having academic
skills
as well
as pedagogic learning of basic expenses.
But
if the mother’s and father’s trust this method, the expenses are to
be followed
by them to borne fruitful results out of this.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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