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Some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way. However, others say that is has more positive effects on our lives. Discuss and give your opinion v.3

Some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way. However, others say that is has more positive effects on our lives. Discuss and give your opinion v. 3
The jury is out when it comes to fads. It is difficult to decide whether the current trends impact us either positively or negatively. It can be said that fashion brightens up our lives, but too much of it will leave us wandering. On the one hand, being brand conscious offers a great deal of benefits. Firstly, a person, who observes latest trends, gets a lot of attention. Attention means appreciation, hence, when a person is lauded, he feels positive and becomes happy. Secondly, fashion opens a lot of gateways for earning money. For example, fashion designing, which is a creative pursuit, can be used to setup a boutique and become self-employed. In fact, it is generally noted that people who are academically poor, perform well in such artistic skills and turn out to be successful in life. On the other hand, aimless chasing of fashion can be delirious. Any hobby such as this requires a judicious and planned approach. If followed blindly, it can lead to instability in financial prospects. This is because; fashion is not a mainstream career. In addition, people do whatsoever to look beautiful which can be detrimental to their health. For example, many girls undertake extreme dieting without knowing the negative effect which it can have on their body. To conclude, I think fashion brings positivity and vitality in our life. However, mindless pursuit of the same can alter the way of life. As it is rightly said that excess of anything is bad, therefore, balancing the act seems to be the right approach to me.
The jury is out when it
comes
to fads. It is difficult to decide whether the
current
trends impact us either
positively
or
negatively
. It can
be said
that
fashion
brightens up our
lives
,
but
too much of it will
leave
us wandering.

On the one hand, being brand conscious offers a great deal of benefits.
Firstly
, a person, who observes
latest
trends,
gets
a lot of
attention. Attention means appreciation,
hence
, when a person
is lauded
, he feels
positive
and becomes happy.
Secondly
,
fashion
opens
a lot of
gateways for earning money.
For example
,
fashion
designing, which is a creative pursuit, can be
used
to setup
a boutique and become self-employed. In fact, it is
generally
noted that
people
who are
academically
poor, perform well in such artistic
skills
and turn out to be successful in life.

On the other hand
, aimless chasing of
fashion
can be delirious. Any hobby such as this requires a judicious and planned approach. If followed
blindly
, it can lead to instability in financial prospects. This is
because
;
fashion
is not a mainstream career.
In addition
,
people
do whatsoever to look
beautiful
which can be detrimental to their health.
For example
,
many
girls undertake extreme dieting without knowing the
negative
effect which it can have on their body.

To conclude
, I
think
fashion
brings positivity and vitality in our life.
However
, mindless pursuit of the same can alter the way of life. As it is
rightly
said that excess of anything is
bad
,
therefore
, balancing the act seems to be the right approach to me.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way. However, others say that is has more positive effects on our lives. Discuss and give your opinion v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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