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Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion, hairstyle and so on. Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion, hairstyle and so on. Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
Following latest fashion has become trend now particularly among young people and people dress, make hair style, wear ornaments etc. as per latest pattern. Why some people follow fashion so religiously? I shall explain the reasons for same in below essay. There are different rationales for people to follow the latest trends. Firstly, People like the changes in day to day life to bring some variation in life. As a result, people go for differ style of clothing, hair style, make-ups etc. These changes give sense of satisfaction and accomplishment being different or bringing some changes in life. For example I am particular about hair styles and never hesitate to change as per new vogue in market. Secondly, following fashion in society is a symbol of being young and it is general character of person not to be seen old than the age. Most of fashion products targets young people and in advertisement also they show the effect of products on personality in positive manner. Chasing new trends are not always good as it causes wastes of money, time and has some environment effects as well. Fashion changes so fast now a days that every two month or so new style of dress or beauty products are launched and people in race of fashion, discard the old one and buy new cloths. Consequently, there is not only wastage of valuable money but also the time to pick and choose the items. For instance, my sister who rigorously follow the fashion go to market in every weeks for latest products. To sum-up, though following fashion has some dis-benefits, it brings the vibrancy in life and people love and embrace the richness by wearing different cloths or style of shoes or do hair style etc. and conspicuously see that adopting fashion trends in limit has no negative effects.
Following latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
has become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
particularly
among young
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people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dress,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
, wear ornaments etc. as per latest pattern. Why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
religiously
? I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons for same in below essay.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
rationales for
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people
to follow the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
.
Firstly
,
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People
like the
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changes
in day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
variation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
As a result
,
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people
go for differ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of clothing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-ups etc. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
give sense of satisfaction and accomplishment being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
or bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, I".
example I
am particular about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
styles
and never hesitate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
as per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
vogue in market.
Secondly
, following
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fashion
in society is a symbol of being young and it is general character of person not to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
Use "elder", "older" to make a comparison with this adjective.
old
than the age. Most of
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fashion
products targets young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and in advertisement
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the effect of products on personality in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
manner.

Chasing
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
are not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as it causes wastes of money, time and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environment effects
as well
.
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Fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
that every two month or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of dress or beauty products
are launched
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in race of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, discard the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
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new
cloths.
Consequently
, there is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wastage of valuable money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the time to pick and choose the items.
For instance
, my sister who
rigorously
follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
go to market in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "week"?
weeks
for latest products.

To sum-up, though following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dis-benefits, it brings the vibrancy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and embrace the richness by wearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cloths or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of shoes or do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
etc. and
conspicuously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
in limit has no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays in many countries people are following the latest fashion, hairstyle and so on. Why are they so influenced by fashion? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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