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Some people say that education system is the onlycritical factor to the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.1

Some people say that education system is the onlycritical factor to the development of a country. with this statement. v. 1
Nowadays, many people give much more focus to create the best development of knowledge in order to ensure the country's expansion. The majority of people believe that the nurture is the only essential method for the advancement of a native land. However, another factor also plays vital role in reading for the growth of the state. I disagree with the given statement and express an opinion at the end. First of all, education is considered to be the backbone of a nation. In addition, the teaching methods of a country have an immense role in the overall improvement of the universe. Most of the developed countries such as America, Australia, Canada and France have well-educated citizen and assists in the rise of a region. Thus, they are successful in every aspect. However, there are countries like Sri Lanka with an educated citizen and better study facilities, but still suffering from poverty and struggling to become a developed city. This indicates that education, practice could never be the only consideration for improvement. Furthermore, only pragmatic education and revenue reserve cannot be the true indicators of the advancement. Overall, life standard, healthcare facilities, safety, sustainable economic growth and a healthy environment are also crucial for a state to become a developed one. For instance, the Japan does not have a strong educational background compared with other European countries and yet, the japan is one of the richest and most developed nation in the world. Similarly, it has utilised properly its national resources and have maintained a superior global trade relationship. This country is a prime example of how skilled and hard working citizens can improve their nation. To conclude this, Although, the learning system is an indispensable component for the overall prosperity of the state, this is not the only component for the growth. So, the plethora of other significant aspects must be considered and implemented for the real boost up of a homeland.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give much more focus to create the best development of knowledge in order to ensure the country's expansion. The majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the nurture is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
essential method for the advancement of a native land.
However
, another factor
also
plays vital role in reading for the growth of the state. I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and express an opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, education
is considered
to be the backbone of a nation.
In addition
, the teaching methods of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have an immense role in the
overall
improvement of the universe. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as America, Australia, Canada and France have well-educated citizen and assists in the rise of a region.
Thus
, they are successful in every aspect.
However
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Sri Lanka with an educated citizen and better study facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
suffering from poverty and struggling to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
city. This indicates that education, practice could never be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
consideration for improvement.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
pragmatic education and revenue reserve cannot be the true indicators of the advancement.
Overall
, life standard, healthcare facilities, safety, sustainable economic growth and a healthy environment are
also
crucial for a state to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
one.
For instance
, the Japan does not have a strong educational background compared with other European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
yet
, the japan is one of the richest and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nation in the world.
Similarly
, it has
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
properly
its national resources and have maintained a superior global trade relationship. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a prime example of how skilled and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
citizens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their nation.

To conclude
this, Although, the learning system is an indispensable component for the
overall
prosperity of the state, this is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
component for the growth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the plethora of other significant aspects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
and implemented for the real boost up of a homeland.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that education system is the onlycritical factor to the development of a country. with this statement. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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